A Solution To The Bleak Choice Of No Sex Vs Infidelity & Divorce


My latest client wrote me an email the other day. It struck me, so I asked her permission to include excerpts in a blog post. She agreed, as long as we changed the names of her and her husband. Read on:

Hi Eric,

Ken gave me a hand job last night that made my back arch. I came so hard it felt like an impact. We are communicating so much better already with your methods we learned during our first session.

I just watched Betty and Carlin's latest video about long term monogamy, after reading Sex at Dawn, which is basically about how impossible that is... and it makes me think that the services you and Betty offer are the answer. The transition from the model of long term monogamy to an open relationship is perhaps too much of a leap, at least for me at first contemplation. But... the other options are a lifetime of sexual frustration and boredom OR divorce and the dismantling of a family OR lies and betrayal. Perhaps there is one more option: Sex life coaching!

What I mean is, sex life coaching gives me a whole new world of sexual freedom and enjoyment within the boundaries of my relationship. I don't have to choose from that dismal list of options. I can have big orgasms and powerful sex with my husband and him with me by learning with you! Who knew that he had a hidden erotica writing talent?! Your first session brought that out in him.

No one is talking about sexlife coaching.

I had never heard of it, ever.

All I know is, without it, I would have eventually cheated or left. We already did marriage councelling and while that fixed some things I'm happy for, it did nothing for our need for better sex. Sex therapy, per your info, wasn't something I needed either. Just powerful sex and more intimacy.

Can't wait to see what else there is!
-Joyce (names changed)

I'd been thinking about this concept/solution for a long time, excited about helping people find an answer to age-old issues in a relationship and shared sex lives. What made me zing when I read it was to hear the same thing come from someone outside of Betty, Carlin, and myself. When you are working with a professional with strong info and a gift for teaching, then sex life coaching is a blessing.

This is the kind of lifechanging that I wanted to do when I set out on this path back in 1998. It's what I wanted to create in my apprenticeship with Betty Dodson; something that no one else had done before with the apprenticeship model of credentialing. It's happening right now. Joyce is in her 40's, hubby Ken in his 50's. Not to say that they are the only age group that could use sex life coaching, but she told me there are so many couples in her age group where the sex life just stops for many reasons, but they still love each other.

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Another someone told me how couples share the raising of the kids as what they have fundamentally in common, but after that's done, or finishing up, they look at each other and decide to divorce because they feel more like roommates than romantic partners. There are many reasons for this, however, I say powerful sex, like Joyce wants, is a very catalyzing element in a relationship in my experience and the experience of my clients, my mentor Betty, and her D&R partner, Carlin Ross. I'll be writing about the why's and how's in my book. For my blog, visit