Get Comfortable In Your Own Skin: 4 Ways To Celebrate Your Authentic Self

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woman forming a heart with her hands

Do you know how to celebrate yourself? It's not always something we feel is necessary.

The expression, "Be yourself, everyone else is taken," is the reality that shocks and pleases.

On one hand, we might have wished to be someone else — either living their life or just aspects of it. Maybe their hair, clothing, house, or darling dog are "much better" than yours.

Most of the time, these thoughts simply pass.

Occasionally, you may have disturbing thoughts about wanting to be someone else.

"I thought I deserved it. I’m jealous on one hand and, on the other hand, I wish I were them."

Being satisfied with yourself can become quite a chore, instead of a pleasure.

Fortunately, there are ways to feel whole in your own skin, so that you never wish to be someone else.

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Here are 4 ways to celebrate your authentic self for who you really are.

1. Take selfies.

The power of the selfie is a modern-day miracle. Remember the days when you couldn't take your own picture? You had to pose, wait, and ask someone to take your picture.

Sometimes, you discover that the angle of the picture was awful! You think, "No one should ever be allowed to see this picture!"

Now, no one is dependent on having someone take your picture. You can take your own, get the angle exactly right, and enjoy the results.

The selfie camera has given us rights that we never had before — and there's even more bounty.

We can carry our cellphones anywhere with us, make notes, use easy maps to guide us, and even keep a spoken or visual diary of our outings.

We are independent in a new way that never existed before.

2. Learn your family history.

Did you ever try to learn about your great-grandparents 40 years ago? It was hard. Often, we just give up searching, or we pay someone to do a genealogy search for us.

Now, with a speck of our DNA and a search tool like, we can find and be found by many relatives who each have stories to add to what we know about our family history.

Often, the search sites themselves have pictures and family trees established. It's amazing!

So far, I've met — via zoom, phone, or in-person — a number of cousins, and I’m amazed and delighted by the stories they shared. Knowing about other family members fills out our sense of value as a human being.

We were not just dropped here.

People like one of my grandmothers crossed Europe to run from war and poverty to finally get to the United States. She had with her three little girls, her candlesticks, and some personal items. Not much else.

Crossing the continent was hard, but even harder may have been steerage class in a rocking boat with three small girls.

Yet, when she finally landed, she got down on her knees and kissed the earth. It meant that much to her to be in the United States!

Wow, and I have some of her genes! Talk about a boost of self-esteem!

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3. Spend time to further recognize and reclaim your "Enchanted Self."

It's great to find out your heritage and strengths that you may have inherited. It's even more powerful to truly recognize your current strengths and talents.

Just think about yourself. Even during the pandemic and all its challenges, you've displayed lots of strength and talents.

What have you done? Don't think about what you haven't done. Look at yourself sunny side up.

Have you boosted someone else’s mood? Have you cooked something special?

Have you been in touch with friends, or checked in on neighbors? Have you cared for others? Have you kept working so others could have a service you provide?

If you're honest with yourself, there's a diamond in the rough inside of you. Don't ignore that — it is your ticket to your Enchanted Self.

4. Respect yourself.

When you recognize how unique, special, and talented, you are — in small or large ways — you don’t put yourself down as much. You respect and see yourself as a whole human being trying the best you can.

You see yourself as valuable enough that it's important to take care of yourself — medically, mentally, physically, etc.

You deserve to eat healthily and have pleasure in life. You have the confidence to apologize and make something right, if you can. You realize you can be helpful in this work, whether what you offer is big or small.

And lastly, you realize how good you feel when you stay connected, try to be helpful, respect others, offer your talents, and give feelings of hope and love wherever you can.

And, guess what? Your Enchanted Self is flourishing.

Who else would you want to be?

Yes, I am taken. I am taken by myself, and it's great!

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Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is a positive psychologist, author, and filmmaker. She is the originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF(R) a positive way of increasing happiness. All of her work is geared to helping girls and women recognize and utilize their strengths, talents, and potential to enhance themselves and the world.

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