What To Do (& Not Do!) After You've Been Stood Up On A First Date

How to respond to ghosting.

By Dina Colada — Written on Feb 06, 2019

Photo: getty

Dating Advice On What To Do After You've Been Ghosted & Stood Up On A First Date

Dating in the age of technology seems easy. At the touch of a button on your smartphone, you have access to literally thousands of singles through online dating sites and apps. But what happens when you meet someone with potential so you arrange a date and ... bam! You've been ghosted and stood up on your first date.

You are left at the amusement park, heartbroken and alone, eating $10 french fries and riding the roller coaster all by yourself.

Your mind starts reeling.

"What is going on here? Is my date in a coma? Does he need me by his side? That's the only reasonable excuse he could have for standing me up."

"Is she OK? Or is she shacking up with someone she met at the bar last night? What went wrong? What did I do wrong?"

"Online dating sucks! I will never find love or go on a date again. Ever!"

If you've ever been ghosted, know that you are not alone. Maybe you're alone in the relationship department for now, but you're not the only one who has been stood up by a date before.

Here are 4 pieces of dating advice on what to do (and not do!) after you've been ghosted and stood up on a first date.

1. Don't text bomb.

If you were stood up on a date, don't blow up their phone! Whatever you do, don't start calling him excessively until he picks up. Or rather, never picks up.

If they are in a coma (which is probably not the case), they won't hear it anyway. And if they are still shacking up from last night, they are most likely not gonna pick up the phone and ask you out for bagels in the morning to make up for it.

2. Do take it easy on yourself.

Just because your date ghosted you doesn't mean you are a loser, a lackey, or a fool. You just happened to get hit with a dating rogue wave.

Sometimes, ghosting happens to the best of us. You are lucky they let you down now — before you find out that they're the best kisser on the planet and you start really falling for them, only to be left heartbroken later.

3. Don't take it personally.

This is an opportunity for you to learn how to get comfortable in your single skin. It is not your fault your date blew you off. Something actually could have happened like they did lose their phone or their grandmother died.

Or they could give you a big pretend excuse like the one I heard once: "I was at a Mormon College, my phone and my computer got stolen and there was no Internet there." Yeah, right. In this case, it’s not you, it's them.

4. Do look at your past and take steps to move on.

If you've been rejected and experienced heartbreak in the past — when you were a kid or in a past relationship — it can affect the way you feel today, even as an adult.