Love Yourself So True Love Will Follow


No matter what the situation, it's never too late to change the direction of a love relationship.

You know how people say that love finds you when you’re least expecting it? Well isn’t this often true when applied to different life situations? The job of your dreams lands in your lap when you already have one. The ideal situation occurs when you’re focused on something else. Ever wonder why this happens? It occurs because you’re feeing okay with your world, which is the prime opportunity for more good things to follow.

Wendy wanted so much to find a guy to settle down with. All of her sisters were married. Her closest friends were either engaged or married, and there she was – alone and always the third, fifth or seventh wheel. Life was not fair! She hated going places on her own, hated coming home to an empty house, and desperately wanted to begin living the life she envisioned as a little girl. Does Wendy sound secure in her world, or is she focused on lack? It wasn’t as though she didn’t find guys to date, or even ones she thought she could build a life with, but none of them lasted too long. They were either too demanding, too lazy, did not want children, wanted too many children, or were simply dull and boring. What was Wendy to do? After ringing in another New Year alone, Wendy decided to go take a couple of classes at the Community Center. She signed up for a pottery class, a cooking class, and a walking tour of her neighborhood. Her friends teased her about her choice of classes, noting that she’d never find a man in those classes, but Wendy told them she was switching her focus from men to her, and could care less.

Wendy was on the right track. Instead of focusing on what she didn’t have and she decided to change her focus, but instead of being too quick to move into action and force a situation (trying to find the right guy, or putting herself in a place full of men), she decided to not act on her goal at all. Wendy instead started her journey to alignment. Wendy was not happy with herself and continually doubted her choices, talked herself down, and found her life lacking when compared to others. Wendy decided on this course when she opened a fortune cookie and her fortune read “Change yourself, change your world.” The cookie struck her in a way nothing else had. She was determined to find out if the cookie was true. To that end she stopped spending so much time with other couples, met some single people to hang out with, and learned to enjoy her own company. Once she completed her cooking class she spent evenings at home alone trying new recipes, rented movies, and when out with others she even stopped noticing how many couples were around.

Another year has come around and Wendy still has not found the man of her dreams, but she is perfectly content now being solo. She knows that she will no longer settle for definitely-not Mr. Right or not-quite-Mr. Right. In fact, with her newfound sense of self-worth, she is no longer being approached by “losers” and has even turned down a couple of prospects. Wendy was living her life as though it was incomplete, but managed to pull it together. She realized that she was not satisfied and could not attract and maintain a healthy relationship, because she was not satisfied with herself before the opportunity for romance manifested itself.

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!

No matter the situation, it’s never too late to attract or change the direction of a love relationship. The key is that one cannot change another, but can change themselves in order to attract what they’ve been wanting all along.

This article was originally published at Leading Edge Coaching. Reprinted with permission from the author.