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Let him know you want him there for the long haul.
By Clay Andrews — Written on Jul 23, 2018
Do you ever wonder what makes a man want a lifelong commitment? Is it how attractive his partner is? How much of a freak she is in the bedroom? Or is it something else entirely?
Of course, every man is different and some have commitment issues. But part of learning how to get a guy to like you involves doing these three things, especially if you want to be with him in the long haul.
1. Stop telling him about your past.
You tell yourself so many stories about the past, present and future. What's been done to you and what you've done to others. One very attractive quality in a woman is when she can totally let go of all the stories she tells herself and just live in the present moment.
When she isn’t dredging up the past or trying to force the future to look a certain way, but can actually be there with her guy and enjoy their time together, it’s a very attractive thing. When a woman can enjoy the present, she takes on a whole new radiant quality that is extremely attractive to the man in her life.
2. Accept him for who he is.
No one is perfect, and that probably includes your guy. It's a major turn-off and point of frustration when a woman tries to change her man either subtly or not-so-subtly.
It almost feels as if she doesn’t really accept him for who he is and that she’d rather be in a relationship with someone else. And if a guy gets that feeling for too long, he’ll save you the effort and just leave so that you have room in your life for that perfect man you wish he was.
Instead, being emotionally okay with a man without having to change him is incredibly sexy. If you want him, then accept him for who he is, no matter what. If you can’t do that or if you don’t like him exactly as he is, it’s time to break it off and save yourself from living in a constant state of disappointment and frustrations.
3. Be vulnerable and open with him.
When women don't do this, they just “go with the flow” or agree with everything he says or does. This seems like it would be a good idea and it seems like it would get you a smooth and problem free relationship. However, that isn’t true because, unless he is extremely insecure, your guy probably doesn’t just want to date a bobble head girl who will only agree with everything he says.
He wants a woman who is open and sharing of how she actually feels in any given moment. Maybe she’s afraid, or anxious, or sad. That’s all fine. Really it is. Having the vulnerability to admit that is a very attractive quality.
Women will choke off their feelings and posture. They may pretend or act as if they are not impacted by the world around them. This often takes the form of the controlling my-way-or-the-highway attitude.
This obviously isn’t very attractive either in how to get a guy to like you. The reason why is because your man doesn’t get a sense of the woman you really are underneath your armor. He wants to know you. And by putting on this act, you’re making it that much harder for him to do that.
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationships coach. For more information, visit him on ModernLove.com.