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What do happy couples that last have in common?
By Christine Wilke — Written on Jul 25, 2021
Marriage is a lot more like a marathon than a sprint but there are habits that can help couples overcome the roughest terrain.
When you first got married, you were most likely at the receiving end of various marriage advice from other couples. But, some relationship advice is so simple that people often forget about it!
Remember that a good marriage is not perfect. You and your spouse will go through various relationship problems and issues, as individuals and as a couple.
And just like everything great in this life, healthy relationships don't just happen overnight. A good marriage takes two dedicated people who decide to invest the time and energy to make it happen!
Here are 6 habits that ensure your marriage survives the long haul:
1. Hold hands often.
Don’t ever underestimate this quiet little PDA. Your skin remembers and archives both positive and negative touch.
This is a great way to deposit more love into your "merrymaking" memory bank.
2. Notice the good stuff.
I tell couples in my Marriage Repair Workshop that they need to be strength detectives in their marriage.
If you want a great relationship as a happy couple, you need to search for and amplifying all the good stuff. When conflict arises, it often obscures all the things you really love about your partner.
So be on the lookout for the things you appreciate and make sure you communicate this to your partner.
3. Don’t be afraid of a good fight.
Wise couples know that fights are part of the landscape of any great marriage. These couples don’t avoid conflict. They stay engaged even when it gets messy.
The key is to develop the tools to resolve the conflict in a healthy way. When you have these tools, there’s no need to run from conflict because you know that conflict can actually help you grow closer together.
As you listen and understand each other in a deeper way, the bond that connects you becomes even stronger.
4. Regularly carve out quality time together.
Just like a delicate flower needs water to survive, a great relationship needs a regular dose of good old-fashioned fun to thrive. You need to consciously and intentionally make time for quality connections.
This could mean snuggling up to watch your favorite TV show together, a leisurely walk around the neighborhood, or dinner at your favorite restaurant.
Be creative and do it regularly.
5. Don’t forget the sex.
Sex can connect the two of you in a way unlike any other. It’s a physical reminder that your love is still alive and well, even if it gets forgotten from time to time.
Having sex helps relieve stress and releases endorphins and other hormones that make you feel good. Most importantly, sex is fun and having fun is an essential ingredient in any healthy relationship.
6. Make time for yourself.
Healthy couples have a healthy connection, but they also make room for that all-important "me" time. This could mean going out with your friends, enjoying a relaxing massage, or shooting some hoops at the local gym.
Cultivating this time allows you to take ownership of your own well-being and happiness which is empowering for you and the relationship.
More for You:
Christine Wilke teaches busy professionals how simple it can be to build a supportive, passionate marriage — one loving step at a time. To learn how to develop powerful tools to help you create this dynamic relationship together, visit her website.