Love, Self

7 Ways Truly Know If You're In Real Love (And Not Just Lust)

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How To Truly Know If You're In Real Love (And It's Not Just Lust)

Love and lust get mixed up because the first sign of love is usually lust. It’s natural.

Our bodies go into immediate animal desire when someone looks attractive to you. It’s nature’s way of feeling it’s way towards procreation.

Lust is simply a strong sexual desire. It’s not a bad thing — it just may not last. Not all lust turns into love. But it may be turned into love.

You can have sex and feel nothing. You can also have sex and feel everything. Here’s how to know if you're in love, for real, or simply in lust:

1. You take the time to get to know each other.

Give yourselves plenty of space to experience each other. If you haven’t been to an airport with this person, chances are you haven’t been fully introduced. A whole new person can show up when you fly somewhere together.

RELATED: 17 Signs He's Definitely, Positively, Absolutely Crazy About You

2. The feeling doesn't go away.

Lust and genuine attraction can both lead to love, but that feeling of being enamored can fluctuate in a heartbeat if it is only lust. A heartfelt attraction that can develop into something deeper does not turn on and off like a tap.

3. There are other feelings involved.

If your love is accompanied by feelings of fear, jealousy, or attachment (heavy controlling energy), it’s more likely to be lust. Love is a constant that exists within each person to give and receive. It feels light not heavy.

4. The feeling increases instead of decreases.

Love has the power to weather all kinds of storms once you’ve discovered it in you to give and receive back.  It’s so strong it can even love more than one person at the same time.

5. The feeling comes from the authentic you.

Carefully review your emotions. Are you reacting or are you genuinely feeling from an authentic heart space? Big difference. One comes from your highest whole being. It feels grounded, excited, and free all at the same time.

The other may be coming from a few ego voices that live in your mind reacting to someone you like. It shows up with excitement too, but also a needy, demanding kind of energy.

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6. The love is mutual.

We experience different levels of lust and love with people. We can incorrectly assume that the higher the sexual desire, the more love is real. But it's not necessarily true.

Love must exist on both sides from within each partner to experience the total sublime joy and ecstasy of being in love.

7. They are not responsible for your happiness.

Do you feel like you need this person in your life or you can’t be happy? Are you seeking approval, appreciation, or love from this person or else you won't feel loved? It's probably lust. Being fulfilled and happy with yourself first helps guarantee finding love. 

When you do find love, that spark of lust can soar through the roof and can remain forever through the ups and downs if you give each other the freedom to be yourselves fully as you grow. The true spark of love is unconditional.

RELATED: The 8 Major Differences Between Being 'In Lust' and 'In Love'

Carolyn Hidalgo is a spiritual life coach who works with clients on the healing and transformation of their relationships to help create authentic connections that meet their needs and fill their soul. To discover more about how to find real love, pick up her free guide on living judgment-free.


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