A 4-Step Guide To Fix Your Relationship When She Says Those Dreaded Words,“I Need Space”

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How To Fix A Relationship Or Marriage With Your Wife Or Girlfriend When She Needs Space

How horrifying is it when your wife or girlfriend says she needs space? You’re probably feeling confused and wondering how you can fix your relationship issues, right? But it's important to understand why she's asking for space and what you should do moving forward. There is a way to get her back and recover from the heartbreak!

Right now is the best time for you to reflect on yourself. You also might be confused because you feel like you did everything right. You were there for her, you showed her affection, you spent time with her, and gave her almost everything she wanted.

You want to live happily ever after and have a wonderful life! 

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Unfortunately, according to most relationship advice, that isn't always the right way to look at love. Love can provide the biggest lessons for growth as an individual and if you don’t learn from them, you live in worry, fear, and misery.

You can also become complacent and don’t learn or move forward. These things happen again, again, and again.

The first step in learning how to fix a relationship is to understand that it is impossible to never irritate your partner. It’s really about how you’re both working through the emotions that surge up. Overall, the biggest thing is if she wants space, give her that space.

Do not text her. Do not call her. Just let her be.

Let her text you, let her call you, allow her to initiate the contact with you. When a woman says she needs space, sometimes it's because she knows that a man is doing everything in his power to be with her.

It can be a great thing, but it can also be too much. When she gets into a relationship or gets involved with someone, she may be unsure of whether they’re a match for her. Or maybe she's suffering from something that’s going on in her life right now. You don’t know.

So what can you do when she asks for some space?

Your girlfriend or wife tells you she needs to be alone for a while, and you're immediately worried. But when a girl says she needs space, the best thing you can do for yourself and your lady is to give it to her.

When she sees you as less available, she’ll start reaching out to you. It draws a connection, it reignites an attraction, and she starts to think, “Is he doing OK without me?”

If a woman has feelings for you, then she won’t be OK with this.

You want to give her space because if she’s going through something personal or even if you thought you were too overbearing, then it’s vital that she has time to get through it. If this eventually leads to a relationship, or if you’re in a relationship right now, you have to show her that you can give her what she needs.

If she's pushing you away because she’s going through something and doesn't want you around, then you need to reanalyze the relationship. There might be a disconnect, or she might not have the same feelings for you. Typically when a woman loves a man, she will be open enough to share things with him or want him by her side when she is going through a tough period, but there are occasions when this isn't the case.

Think about the conversation you’re going to have with her. If your girlfriend handles troubles by herself, talk to her about why and try to understand her reasoning. Ask her to show you how can still be present for her.

This type of communication is vital to every relationship. Be compassionate and understanding when you're having marriage or relationship problems.

Here are 4 tips for learning how to fix your relationship when your girlfriend or wife says she "needs space".

1. Don't just dwell on worries 

Make yourself busy during this time. When your girlfriend needs space, do something that you’ve wanted to do with friends or family. Travel somewhere for a quick getaway. Go have fun! Doing something will keep your mind busy instead of thinking about what she's doing or if she wants to break up or why she needs space, to begin with.

All these questions are negative self-talk, and it’s not going to do you any good.

2. Explore the relationship

Think about your relationship. Unless something happened (like a family member passing away, a health issue, or something drastic going on in her life), you should have some idea of why she needs space. It’s imperative that you're with a partner you can see a future with, and you both need to have an understanding of what caused this situation.

Analyze the relationship and see where your own shortcomings were. What led you both to the point that she needs space? This is the only way that you can dissect the relationship to see what you might have done wrong and how you can overcome this so you can support your partner now.

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3. Become confident and happy

When someone is confident with themselves, it is magnetic to their partner so attraction and desire intensify. Confidence is inner happiness.

You cannot just pretend to be confident. This is something that takes strength, time, and focus. You can overcome your inner obstacles and grow as a person for you and only you.

A lot of men think, “How will she know I am more confident? How will she know I've changed?” That’s the key right there! As time goes on, your partner will be able to sense a change within you.

You can show her through your actions, decisions, and energy. You want to be respectful, but you also should show her that you’re confident and you’re happy no matter what — with her in your life and without her in your life!

This is what a woman looks for in a man: A strong man that can hold his own at the end of the day.

4. Set positive boundaries

Determine what is healthy and what is not healthy. When you consider your relationship, were you being overly affectionate or too available for her? Are you involved in everything to the point where she knows you will always pick her up and do all the work to put her back together when she falls?

If so, she might continue to fall because she knows that you’re going to pick her back up. Though being supportive is a strong trait, you want to make sure she's not taking advantage of you.

By setting boundaries and telling her you cannot continue supporting her unhealthy behaviors, you can help her own her responsibilities and create more balance in your relationship.

A woman might be taking you for granted if she is always asking for space, especially when you are too available. You might want to look at your availability, your level of neediness, and if you're spending an unhealthy amount of time together.

If a woman states that she needs space and you follow these tips but things don't improve, then she may not want space, after all, but something more permanent. However, if you follow these tips, you'll be forming a trusting foundation where she will not need to do this again.

Furthermore, if a woman is being emotional and is doing this for attention, this is your time to ask her to dig a little deeper into her insecurities and to take some responsibility because you cannot play these games with her.

A lot of men think that if they do this when she said she needs space, they will not be supporting their girlfriend or wife.

At the end of the day, you can only take responsibility for yourself and when you implement boundaries in your relationship and do not tolerate negative behavior, you can build a healthy relationship.

You'll both have a deeper understanding and accountability for each other and it will send a clear message that you cannot be used as a doormat and will not be passive.

RELATED: How To Fix An Unfixable Relationship (Before It's Too Late)

Apollonia Ponti is an international certified coach. She works with ambitious men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships. Book a coaching session on her website.

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This article was originally published at Apollonia Ponti's website. Reprinted with permission from the author.