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Was she supposed to hide her ring?
By Nia Tipton — Written on Jan 07, 2023
A woman is being accused of trying to steal the spotlight from her stepsister's proposal.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — the woman shared her side of the argument with her stepsister.
In her Reddit post, the woman, 28, wrote that she got engaged at the beginning of December 2022.
This past Christmas, she explained that she was staying with her mom and stepdad, who was also hosting many of her stepdad's family for a New Year's party.
"Prior to this, my stepsister Rachel's (now) fiancé Matt informed my parents that he was going to propose and asked if it would be okay to do it at the party, and my parents agreed."
The woman is being accused of stealing the spotlight from her stepsister's proposal after wearing her engagement ring.
For her family's New Year's party, she decided to wear her engagement ring, which many of her stepdad's family hadn't seen in person before.
She pointed out that before the proposal, she noticed Matt had started acting cold toward her but brushed it off as him being nervous.
"The proposal happened and it was beautiful. Everyone congratulated Rachel but it was kind of a 50/50 on people wanting to look at and compliment her ring and mine," she wrote.
Many of their family members even made comparisons between the two rings, but they didn't use unkind words, and everyone seemed happy for her and Rachel.
However, the day after the proposal, the woman's stepsister and fiancé weren't happy.
"Rachel said I was deliberately trying to draw attention to myself on her special night, and that since I knew beforehand she was getting engaged I shouldn't have worn my ring, since I don't always wear it anyway," the woman recalled.
The woman disagreed with her stepsister, rebutting that she had gotten engaged weeks prior, something that everyone at the proposal already knew about.
She pointed out that she'd worn her engagement ring because she is engaged.
"Matt then accused me of embarrassing by wearing my 'colossally large' ring when I knew Rachel's wouldn't be anywhere near as big, and intentionally showing him up in front of the family."
Both the woman's stepfather and stepbrother agree that Rachel and Matt weren't right to accuse her of trying to steal their spotlight, but the woman's mother understands why Rachel would be upset.
"She can see where Rachel is coming from since everyone preferred my ring to hers. She also said that given that my ring is quite unique, I should have considered it would draw attention," she concluded.
Most people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).
"You are engaged, it is normal for you to wear your ring, especially at family occasions!" one user wrote.
Another user added, "You didn't get engaged at the party, people already knew you were engaged, and this was an annual holiday get-together where people hadn't seen you in person for a while."
"They sound immature….more concerned about ring comparisons than the engagement and what it means. If they got engaged a day before the party, would only Rachel be able to wear her ring?" a third user questioned.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.