Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
Is it really the size of the ring that matters most?
By NyRee Ausler
Last updated on Apr 09, 2024
What woman doesn’t dream of getting proposed to? There are plenty of women who have thought about their proposal for their entire lives, imagining their man dropping to one knee and putting a gigantic, sparkling diamond on her ring finger.
But while some say it’s the thought that counts, many women secretly really care about the size of the diamond in their engagement ring. According to research published by Angara, the preferred average size for an engagement ring center stone is 1.3 carats.
With 92% of shoppers purchasing rings priced at $1,000 or more, it’s no wonder one woman was stunned when her significant other of eight years proposed with what appears to be the tiniest diamond known to man.
A woman considered rejecting her boyfriend's proposal over the size of the diamond ring.
In a subreddit called r/weddingshaming, a user shared a post where an unknown woman displayed a picture of her hand with her small engagement ring on it.
The image was captioned, “We [have] been together for 8 years and talking about getting married for 3. [This is the] ring he saved up to buy me. Am I being shady or materialistic if I tell this MF [I don’t] want this little [expletive] ring?”
Readers were split between the belief that the size of the man’s heart is much more important than the size of the diamond, and the opinion that his lack of effort was indicative of his potential as a husband.
Many were concerned that the man had "saved up" to buy a ring of that size, calling to attention that he must not care about actually having a wedding.
One person added, "While I have no idea what this costs, it doesn't look like a ring one would need to save up for. They have been talking about marriage for 3 years, but have they gone window shopping for engagement rings?”
Other users thought that instead of rejecting the man's proposal outright, the woman should gently let him know the ring is not her style, and both should visit a jeweler to find something she likes. "This will hopefully lead to a budget discussion and set priorities," another user said.
Many people believe that a future wife should have a say in the ring her partner proposes with.
According to Angara's statistics, 80% of women admit to subtly mentioning what they wanted in an engagement ring to their future spouses. On top of that, seven out of 10 future brides actively participated in the ring selection process.
While it's "tradition" to have a man select the ring himself and surprise his girlfriend, since the woman is the one who will be wearing the ring for the duration of the engagement, as well as after marriage with the addition of a wedding band, she should have some power in deciding what the ring looks like.
As claimed GoldeNet, an Australian online retailer of fine jewelry and certified diamonds, women want to have a say in their engagement ring for a few reasons, including being aesthetically pleasing, wanting something that fits their tastes, and, perhaps most importantly, because it makes them feel respected.
Photo: dotshock / Shutterstock
Similarly, many men also want women to choose their desired ring, with men citing their own inability to get a ring she would like, having no clue whatsoever what their girlfriend's taste is in jewelry, and wanting her to wear something she truly loves all contributing to feeling this way.
Still, not every man wants to break with tradition, preferring to get their (hopefully) future wife a ring they picked out for her.
GoldeNet advises that men can go about this in a few ways. When deciding on a ring, they suggest that men "lead the conversation to rings, and pay attention to what she says." Perhaps he can drop hints to get the conversation to lead there.
Additionally, they recommend asking her best friend for the ring size and a better description of her style. They also suggest that if the woman has an inkling of a proposal coming, she should drop hints about what she likes. Of course, consulting with a jeweler is always a great option, too.
As for the perturbed soon-to-be bride who debated giving back her engagement ring, there was no word on whether she threw the ring back at her frugal fiancé’s face or put her pride aside and proceeded with the nuptials.
But most people will agree that it's not the size of the ring that matters most, but rather, the promise to stay committed to one another forever.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.