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Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Skipping Cousin's Baby Shower After She Showed Up To Her Wedding Pregnant

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Baby shower

A recently-married woman posted to Reddit's r/AmITheA–hole subreddit because she was upset her cousin showed up to her wedding while pregnant.

The Reddit forum is a place for people to ask if they were wrong in an argument or conflict they were involved in.

The woman explained that she recently married her “best friend and it was everything we both dreamed of,” despite an incident at the wedding that “left a very bitter taste in [her] mouth.”

Her cousin, age 19, arrived “quietly” at the wedding with her 25-year-old husband.

The bride reported that her cousin wore an asymmetrical dress that wasn’t tight-fitting, but the dress was “revealing enough for even the most clueless of a person to tell she’s pregnant.”

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The bride was livid that her cousin showed up pregnant at her wedding.

In the woman’s own words, her wedding “quickly turned into a pregnant belly love fest.” 

She stated that as far as she knows, her cousin never directly announced the pregnancy during the wedding — she “just accepted the congratulations from everyone and talked about how excited she and her husband are.” 

The woman noted that her cousin tried to “downplay” her pregnancy. She even overheard her cousin telling other members of their family that the wedding day was “about the bride,” but the woman “felt she conveniently timed that right as I passed by their table.”

“I do feel her intentions were malicious and obvious,” wrote the woman. “It’s all anyone was talking about.”

She went on to say that certain relatives had “the audacity” to bring up her cousin’s pregnancy to her, expressing their excitement about the expanding family.

While the bride believes that “things were kept cordial,” she expressed feeling “very hurt.”

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She's considering not attending her cousin’s future baby shower because her cousin was pregnant at her wedding.

Despite her desire to skip the baby shower, she worries that she’ll become “the black sheep of the family” if she misses the celebration, for which a date hasn't yet been set.

“I still love most of my extended family and don’t want to lose them but I also don’t think I can stomach such an event,” she admitted, wondering if she is an a–hole for wanting to skip the impending baby shower.

The majority of Reddit users expressed their belief that the woman would be an a–hole if she were to skip her cousin’s baby shower.

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Many users admonished her for her attitude regarding her cousin’s pregnancy.

“What was she supposed to do? Leave the pregnant belly at home?” Asked one user. “The whole world doesn't stop simply because you decided to get married.”

“Do you know how jealous, insecure, and ridiculous you sound?” asked another.

“What did you want her to do, wear a trash bag?” a commenter questioned.

One person noted that during pregnancy, “the bump shows at different times for different people, so [the cousin] may have still been pretty early on.”

“People don’t owe you a pregnancy announcement before they’re ready,” one user admonished the woman, going on to say that the general “rule of thumb” about announcing pregnancies “is to wait until after the first trimester, but even then loss can happen.”

Another user echoed this sentiment, saying that many pregnant people, “choose NOT to announce on the early end of pregnancy because, sadly, pregnancy loss happens.”

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“Being pregnant is not a vindictive act. It’s a biological one,” stated someone else.

Yet a few followers defended the woman’s indignation, believing that the cousin could have announced her pregnancy before the day of the wedding, or she could have “tried to make it less obvious” instead of taking attention away from the married couple.

“Your feelings are valid, and while they may strike some as a little ‘me me me,’ I get it,” said one user who was supportive of the bride.

“You’re within your right to not attend the baby shower,” continued the same user. “Send a card with a congratulations and maybe a gift and move forward.”

While the woman is certainly allowed to feel her feelings, most users agreed that she was the a–hole for believing her cousin’s pregnancy diminished her wedding day.

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Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.