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Woman Wonders If She’s Wrong For Not Helping Elderly Mother-In-Law When She Fell Over To Prove A Point

Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock.com
Woman upset on couch

A 33-year-old woman and her husband had been fighting about how to help his mother who is in dire need of professional care as she had fallen very ill.

Not being qualified to lend that kind of assistance, the woman suggested several suitable options for the woman to be cared for — including a nursing home or hiring a caregiver — all of which the husband refused to do.

Now, his wife is refusing to care for her mother-in-law.

After being told how disappointed her husband was with her, and being called "cruel" and "unhinged," she went to Reddit, where some people go in order to get people on their side after they do something totally valid, but instead got hit with a wave of rightful criticism.

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The subreddit, “r/AmItheA--hole,” sees hundreds of posts a day from people who are curious about their predicament while the internet philosophers offer their advice and a rating on whether or not they are the “a--hole.”

“After [he] shut down all my suggestions, I made it clear I will not be taking any part in his mom's care or be dragged unwillingly in her care,” she wrote after laying out all of the options for him.

Instead, she would assist however she could by cooking meals for them in the kitchen when he decided to move in with her.

“I was in the kitchen reheating his dinner when I heard him shouting for me to come help lift his mom off the floor after she fell off the bed,” she continued. “I went to see what's going on but refused to get involved.”

Her husband lashed out at her, saying that this was no time to be petty and to try and prove a point to him — however, she didn’t care and left.

This was the turning point in the story and was where everyone stopped being on her side.

While it might seem a little apathetic to refuse to let his mother stay with them at home because they weren’t equipped to take care of her, she had a good point and as one of the two people living in the home, had a right to refuse her living with them.

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What’s wrong, however, is refusing to help an elderly woman who fell off the bed and is likely in pain.

“YTA,” wrote the top comment, meaning “You’re the a--hole.” 

“You were fine up until refusing to help when a frail, dependent, elderly woman fell and it became more important to prove your point,” they wrote. “You not only were petty but cruel. Whatever point you were trying to make was vaporized after that stunt.”

The woman said that she got overwhelmed by the “guilt tripping” and so she went home, where she was equally chided by her mother for being so cruel.

“She said I should be proud of my husband for being a stand up guy who helps his family instead of guilting him and making him feel like he's making a mistake for choosing to support his family,” wrote the woman.

At one point, she writes that she considers herself a sympathetic person, but people mocked her for claiming that when she pulled a stunt like that.

“YTA, Not for having boundaries and trying to enforce them but don’t come here telling us that you’re a sympathetic person,” wrote one of the comments.

“I wouldn’t even treat a stranger the way you did to your husband and your MIL. If you see someone fall, you stop and help them, that’s what a sympathetic person would do, even when it’s a stranger, you see your family fall down laying on the floor and you choose to walk away.”

Hopefully, the responses help this woman see the error of her ways so that she can right her wrongdoings and apologize to her husband and to her mother-in-law.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.

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