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He advised her to tell him first.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Dec 21, 2022
If you've never used a confessional, you’ve no doubt seen one in a movie or television show — it's when you step into a wooden stall at church and proceed to confess your sins to a priest in the hopes of salvation.
The expectation is that you drop the burden of your transgressions, take accountability for your actions, and are forgiven for what you’ve done after you finish the penance handed to you.
These experiences are supposed to be private and confidential, between you, your priest, and God.
But one woman found out the hard way that what happened in the confessional doesn’t necessarily stay there.
The woman shared her story of a priest's controversial betrayal after he revealed her affair confession to her husband.
In a post originally written on the subreddit, "r/legaladvice" and then reshared on "r/facepalm," the poster is honest from the start, telling readers that three years ago, during a tumultuous time in her marriage, she made the mistake of cheating on her husband.
The one-night stand happened during a work trip and the woman confessed that she never asked for any intimate details about the man she cheated with, including his last name.
They didn’t exchange contact information, nor did they keep in contact after the encounter.
The Redditor felt justified because at the time, she didn’t feel valued or appreciated by her husband and she describes the marriage as “rocky” back then.
For that reason, up until now, she has had no reason to tell anyone about the affair.
Photo: Reddit
After the pandemic hit, the estranged couple was forced to quarantine together in their home.
They ended up reconnecting and reconciling and their marriage is back on the right track.
Now that she felt close to her husband again, the guilt she felt about her affair ate her up inside.
Unsure of where to turn, she decided to talk to her parish priest and get her misdeeds off her chest.
Once the priest heard about what she had been up to, he urged her to tell her oblivious husband as part of her penance.
That, of course, seemed like a big ask, so the unhappy wife sat on her secret for a month, uncertain of what she would do next.
Believing she had time to make the best decision possible, the poster was shocked by what happened next.
Once the priest told the husband the news, he planned on kicking her out of the house.
“Last weekend, I came home to my husband throwing all of my stuff out of the bedroom and trying to kick me out of the house,” she wrote.
“He knows everything. Apparently, the priest followed up to see if I’d told my husband, and when my husband didn’t understand, he told him about the affair.”
As expected, the priest’s disclosure has upended their marriage, erasing all of the progress they have made over the past few years — her world was “exploding.”
As most would assume, she thought the details of her life that she chose to share with her priest were confidential.
She now wants to know what liability or responsibility the man has for breaking her trust and ruining her marriage.
Commenters on Reddit gave her advice on what she should do next.
The first comment, upvoted over 12,000 times, joked that “Confessionals [are] about to be real empty.”
Another commenter added, “Yep, that's exactly why this sort of violation comes with harsh religious penalties. Confession is pretty worthless if there's no assurance of confidentiality.”
All states have laws that protect the confidentiality of certain communications made to priests is protected under Priest-Penitent Privilege, including the Redditor's state of Maryland.
Laws differ from state to state and the issue can be very challenging when confessions about the abuse of children, future illegal acts, or other heinous crimes are shared with clergymen.
There was no word on whether or not the woman took legal action against her church or not, but one commenter summed it up perfectly.
They said, “Fun fact the only way to keep anything private is to never tell anyone. Ever.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.