Single Mom Wonders If She's Wrong For Asking Sister To Pay For Childcare Or Else She Wouldn't Go To Her Wedding
She has no way of finding childcare for her son, and therefore won't be able to attend her sister's wedding.
Emma Bauso / Letticia Massari / Pexels A woman was accused of being "ridiculous" and "entitled" after giving her sister, who is about to be married, an ultimatum.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument — she revealed that her sister's wedding is taking place in a completely different state, and is having trouble finding someone to watch her son while she's gone.
She told her sister to pay for childcare for her son or else she wouldn't attend the wedding.
In her Reddit post, the 25-year-old woman explained that her older sister's wedding is in a few months and the invitations were just sent out. She had been invited as a regular guest and not a bridesmaid or maid-of-honor since they live far away from each other.
While she acknowledged wanting to be there on her sister's big day, she is a single mom to her 6-year-old son and has no way of finding someone to care for him while she goes away. She also can't take him to the wedding since her sister explicitly stated that it would be a child-free ceremony.
"Since it's taking place in her state, I'd need to commute, and I'd probably have to be gone from my house for 2 full days. I can't have family watch my son since they'll all be at the wedding. And I don't really have friends who will babysit for 2 days," she wrote.
To try and come to a solution, she reached out to her sister and asked if it would be possible to bring her son to the wedding despite the rule. She tried to explain that he's young and can't be left alone for that amount of time by himself without supervision, which is hard for her to find.
When her sister stood her ground on keeping her wedding child-free, she then asked if it would be possible for her sister to give her money so she could hire a nanny or babysitter to watch him, but again, her sister refused.
"She got offended, and said, 'Children and weddings are both parts of life' and I need to, 'Just figure it out, it's my kid, my problem.' That's true, but also... her wedding, her making it a problem by not allowing me to bring my kid," she continued.
At that point, she decided to give her sister an ultimatum. If she didn't pay for childcare, then she wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. Though, that only angered her sister further.
"All she did was call me 'ridiculous' and 'entitled.' She said she shouldn't have to pay for my child and that part of being an adult is knowing how to take care of that kind of thing," she recalled of her sister's response.
"I think that's ridiculous. Money is tight. Child care is expensive. I can't magically afford for someone to watch my 6-year-old and most people would just let me bring him to the wedding," she added, noting that now her entire family is upset at her for missing her sister's big day.
Many people in the comments section claimed that she was being unfair about not attending her sister's wedding.
Unfortunately, she is right about childcare being expensive, especially for two days, which is how long she would be traveling for the wedding. According to a recent survey conducted by Care.com, 51% of parents say they spend more than 20% of their household income on child care, and 72% of parents report spending 10% or more. Many parents also feel that childcare prices are only continuing to rise.
Over half, 63%, of parents report that child care is more expensive over the past year. Many say that this is due to childcare centers’ increased costs (46%), Inflation (41%), and childcare centers taking fewer children (36%).
Despite the single mom's valid worry about not being able to find someone to care for her son to attend her sister's wedding, many people felt she was being unfair to put that all on her sister.
"She has zero obligation to your child. It’s her wedding day, she can set the rules as she wants," one Reddit user pointed out, while another user added, "It’s her decision. You asked for an exception; she said no. That should have been the end of the discussion. Continuing to ask her for help is unreasonable."
However, others felt as if her sister may have been a bit harsh in shutting down any conversations about finding a solution.
"Her sister also has no right to be angry at her sister for not coming. She can choose to have a childfree wedding but she cannot demand that people with children attend," a third user chimed in.
A fourth user agreed, writing, "You can't afford to go, they can't afford to help, not going is the only option. Not sure what the problem is."
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.