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He doesn't want to see his ex-wife.
By Nia Tipton — Written on May 05, 2022
A mother is seeking advice after she refuses to stop inviting her former daughter-in-law to family functions despite her son not wanting her around.
Posting to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**hole), the woman explained that her son, 44, divorced his wife, 43, after having an affair with a younger woman, 23.
The woman's son and his ex have two children together, 12 and 6, and his ex has full custody of them, whereas he gets them one weekend per month.
"He just got engaged to the woman he had an affair with and told me I’m not allowed to invite his ex to family functions anymore bc his fiancée is uncomfortable being around her," the woman wrote in her Reddit post.
She told her son that she wouldn't stop inviting her former daughter-in-law because she has full custody of their children.
She added wants to be able to see her grandchildren more than once a month, which is the only time she'd get to see them if she never invited their mother over.
The woman also explained that she was basically her daughter for twenty years and the divorce isn't going to change the way she feels about her.
"She is actually closer to most of the family than he is since she was always the one who kept us up to date about the kids, scheduled family outings with us, and even spent more time with us than he did," the woman added.
Her former daughter-in-law also doesn't have any family in the country, since all of her family live far away, meaning she's only ever known the woman's family for the past two decades.
"I’m not going to take that away from her because my son decided to leave her," she said, adding that her son is angry that she won't stop inviting his ex.
The woman also recognized that she still carries her own anger and hurt about her son's actions towards his ex-wife and their children, saying that she may just be acting out in anger.
"I only want to add that my former [daughter-in-law] is not a controlling or abusive shrew who drove my son to cheat."
"She is a lovely human being who was also a very good wife to my son. He even admitted that she was completely not at fault, but that he “unexpectedly fell in love” when he met his new fiancée," the woman concluded.
Most people under the woman's Reddit post were in agreement that she is NTA (Not The A**hole) for still wanting to include her former daughter-in-law.
"He's divorcing her. You aren't. He and his fiancée can act like adults for a few hours during family functions, and be polite. The ex can do likewise. Since the ex has near-full custody of the kids, cutting her out would mean cutting off your grandkids. They've been through enough thanks to your son's irresponsibility," one user commented.
Another user commented, "I can’t imagine it’s comfortable for your grandchildren’s mother either and unlike the affair partner she didn’t make the choice to be in this situation. People are supposed to feel uncomfortable for doing shitty things."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.