Man Seeks Advice On Whether To Let Homeless Brother Live With Him After He Shunned Him For Being Adopted

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Family stuff is always a bit complicated. Familial relationships create some of the tightest bonds, and so it hurts that much more when family members are cruel to one another.

When family members fall on hard times and need things or to rely on one another, those bonds get tested and who can truly be relied on becomes clear.

A Reddit user with the username, u/toopettyaita, made a post on the subreddit r/AmItheAsshole in which he asked for some judgment from commenters about a situation with his family.

The man wondered if he is wrong for refusing to let his brother live with him.

The Original Poster (OP) described some of the background of his family situation, saying, “I’m adopted my brother and sister are the bio kids. I had some issues in my teenage years and wasn’t the perfect kid but brother was a bit wild too. However since I’m the adopted one my “siblings” have always given me extra sh-t for my failings.”

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He goes on to say that he has had a good relationship with his parents and has had a lot of success in his adult life in spite of a slightly troublesome youth.

Ever since one incident in high school, the man’s relationship with his siblings never really recovered.

His brother reaffirmed his position during a Christmas after the man had been helping their sick father, “Cut to me having a car accident going to pick up dads meds and dad and mom buying me a used car so I could keep taking dad to appointments and as a thank you for all the help."

"They said I didn’t deserve anything and that I was using mom and dad. My brother cornered me and said as soon as dad died I had a month to move out and 'stop leeching' off mom or else.”

The man is doing well now and often helps his mother.

After their father passed away, he got a place to live near his mother so that he could continue to help out. He claims to be doing well for himself now and living fairly comfortably.

The mother’s sister moved in with her along with her two grandchildren which the man says makes his mother happy since it means having a full house. He also says that he regularly comes over to help out.

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His brother, on the other hand, had just been kicked out by his wife and was in need of a new place to live for the time being.

The brother was initially going to stay with his mother but didn’t want to live in the house with the kids. The brother asked the man if he could live with him instead.

The man did not want to live with his brother.

He felt opposed and, while his mother was aware of the strife between her children, it made her very sad.

The man wrote of his feelings on the matter, saying, “I don’t want to live with him. He’s treated me like sh-t for 10+ years at this point and never has a nice thing to say behind my back usually from my teenager years when I was struggling. He is vocal about not considering me family. He’s said he doesn’t want me at our mothers funeral or in her will… The animosity is palpable.”

He turned to Reddit for answers as to whether it was wrong for him to refuse his brother but the consensus seems to be that the man was justified in his decision.

The top commenter very succinctly wrote, “NTA. He’s incredibly cruel to you. Time for him to reap what he sowed.”

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Dan O'Reilly is a writer who covers news, politics, and social justice. Follow him on Twitter.

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