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Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Running Away From Biological Daughter She Was Forced To Give Birth To When She Was 15

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older woman covering her face

A woman has posted to the subreddit “AITA” (Am I The A**Hole) looking for advice and opinions after running away from her biological daughter and subsequently hurting her feelings.

"Am I The A**Hole" is a community on Reddit where different people can post their stories and ask other users on the site for their opinion and if they were in the right or wrong.

The woman began her story by prefacing that she was only 15 years old when she gave birth to her baby and ultimately decided to give the child up for adoption.

“I gave up a baby when I was 15 and had a closed adoption, I don’t want children and was made to birth her after becoming pregnant,” the woman wrote.

The woman, who is now 38, went on to reveal that recently the daughter she had given up for adoption, who is now 23, has been reaching out on social media and sending letters.

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“I’ve began receiving numerous messages via social media and letters from my bio daughter,” the woman explained.

She continued, saying that she wasn't happy that her biological daughter had been trying to reach out and talk to her, writing, “I’ll be honest I wasn’t thrilled nor interested in communication so I simply mailed her a letter stating my intention to have no contact besides exchanging medical history.”

A couple of months later, the woman noticed that someone was following her around the supermarket. She quickly became fearful until she realized it had been her daughter.

“I noticed someone following me around the supermarket, alarmed. I quickly checked out and ran for my car when someone yelled 'wait!' I soon quickly realized it was her and duck behind some cars, [hopped] in my car,” she recalled.

The woman’s biological daughter continued to tap on her window, begging for a conversation, to which the woman was adamantly telling her daughter to “leave [her] alone.”

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“She tapped on my window and begged to talk and I yelled at her to ‘leave me alone,’” she wrote. “She cried [as] I drove away, and [I] have since received a barrage of hate from her family.”

The woman ended her post with asking if she was the a-hole for hiding and yelling at her biological daughter.

Many people were in agreement that the woman was NTA (Not The A**Hole) under the Reddit thread.

One user commented, “You had a closed adoption. She has no right to be hunting you down like this. She’s basically stalking you, and ambushing you like that would be so frightening.”

Another user commented, “As an adoptee, NTA. If you’re sharing medical information you’re doing the only thing you’re ethically required to do. It’s hard for adoptees in closed adoptions who want contact when a bio parent doesn’t, but they need to deal with it. Her stalking you is super inappropriate.”

One user wrote that perhaps the woman’s reaction could have been less aggressive, but is also perfectly understandable.

“Your daughter may have craved to at least know your story or you as a person. Like who wouldn’t? Fundamentally you are still the one who birthed her. She may want to know how you have been or what [happened]. It could have been due to desperation of at least wanting to know what her own birth mother was like,” the user commented. 

“She did cross your boundaries but there is desperation that may have clouded her judgment. The feeling of being unwanted by your parents must strike very deep and she could have just needed some closure to properly move on with her life.”

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.

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