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'Deadbeat' Mom Defended After Single Dad Slams Her For Not Being Involved In Raising Their Child

Photo: Tatiana Syrikova / Shutterstock
Dad and baby

A bitter man is getting vitriol from users for calling the mother of his child a deadbeat in a Reddit community called “Legal Advice”. 

Folks use the forum to post about legal troubles they want informed opinions on, and to explain legal concepts.

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He got a girl pregnant, she wanted to get an abortion, but he didn't.

The Reddit post began with a father explaining how his child came to be in this world, “We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son.”

After the baby was born, the dad began his sole custodian and the baby's birth mother did not want to “make things like medical or education decisions”.

“Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support,” he said.

The birth mother let him know that if he were to ever marry, and they wanted to adopt the child, “she [would] agree but until then she'll pay support.”

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This has been the arrangement since the son was born.

The next paragraph of the post started to become difficult to understand. It is possible that the father was purposely skewing the story, which could be one reason it didn’t make sense.

It began with, “I'm raising our son all on my own,”

“He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her,” he said.

“I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him,” then he expressed that his family tried to help when they could, but it only went so far. 

“I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time,” he said.

“I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth.”

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He explains that his child's birth mother already pays more support than is court-ordered so a judge said she cannot be forced to also have custody. 

He hadn’t seen the birth mother in almost a year, which seemed to be a source of burden for him, even though that is what they agreed to.

The last thing that the father heard about her was that she had “a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym.”

He also found out that she wasn’t telling people she was a mother, but an "egg donor." 

“She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent.”

Then he ended the post by asking for any “legal remedies” to his situation.

Reddit users had no sympathy for the man.

One user said, “I'd say she's a good mom. She was clear about what her terms were for having the child that she didn't want. You agreed to those terms.”

“Any legal remedies for what? She is not a deadbeat. Deadbeats don't pay 125% of child support.” said another.

A third commented “You manipulated someone into having a child they did not want for you, into spending 9 months of their life incubating that child,” 

“into damaging their own health -- for your desire to have a child, and your wish that said child would make you lord and master over the mother.”

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Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for Entertainment & News at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.