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Woman Wonders If She Is Wrong For Refusing To Take 50% Custody Of Kids After They Were ‘Too Much’ For Her

Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
Parents arguing

Parents cherish their kids and want to do all they can for them. However, this woman might have some different thoughts about parenting.

A woman refused to share custody of her children with her ex and went to Reddit to post on the AITA (Am I The A-hole?) thread to ask people for their opinions. 

She started by explaining that she has three kids with her ex-boyfriend. The two previously had equal custody of their children, however, her ex insisted on wanting full custody.

The woman initially refused to give up custody but this didn’t sit well with him.

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The children didn’t want to stay with their mother either. They even fought with her and accused her of kidnapping when she was taking care of them — though this is likely because kids can get emotional and struggle to understand separations.

The woman wrote, “The whole week they were too much so I gave him 100 percent custody while agreeing to pay child support.”

She mentioned that things were going alright for her and she was enjoying life outside of her family. 

"It was summer so, of course, they were having lots of fun and since his new girlfriend couldn't have children it was like a perfect situation for them," she wrote.

"Well, I moved out of the house, got an apartment where I could easily pay rent, and began living my best life."

However, her ex and children have regretted their actions and insisted the woman share custody.

The woman mentioned that her ex and his girlfriend were having problems at home ever since the kids’ school started.

He had been having trouble working with the school for the kids' grades and is unable to give them a routine bedtime.

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In addition, he also feels bad for threatening her in the past. However, the woman still refused, claiming her ex had made his choice by getting full custody and should now have to stick with that.

Her ex then went to her family and told them everything. As a result, the woman’s family has been calling her non-stop which made her think that she might be wrong.

Some internet users claimed that the woman isn’t wrong, however, others claimed that a mother shouldn’t ignore her kids. 

There were many mixed reactions from people. Some users claimed that since the woman didn’t have a good experience when she shared custody, she wasn’t wrong now to refuse it.

One user wrote, “This mother tried her best to keep her kids. The father wanted full custody and got it. I'm sure she was hurt and struggled… I know they are her kids but she's still a human being with feelings and needs.” 

Another user wrote, “Now that your ex has gotten a taste of reality and it's not as fun as the kids thought, NOW he wants you to [co-parent]? No. That's not how this works. He doesn't get a free pass after threatening you just because he doesn't know how to parent his kids.”

Many people also thought that both the woman and her ex were in the wrong as they were making their kids suffer in the midst of their conflict.

One person wrote, “Your kids are still young and their father obviously manipulated them but they still could apologize for what they did to you when he was manipulating them… You are acting like your kids are expendable. They’re your kids, try to connect a bit harder.”

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Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.

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