Woman Wonders If She Is Wrong For Refusing To Take 50% Custody Of Kids After They Were ‘Too Much’ For Her
She thinks they don't want to see her.
fizkes / Shutterstock Parents cherish their kids and want to do all they can for them. However, one mom has expressed some different thoughts about parenting that have opened up a debate.
The woman revealed that she refused to share custody of her children with her ex.
In the since-deleted post, she started by explaining that she has three kids with her ex-boyfriend. The two previously had equal custody of their children, however, her ex insisted on wanting full custody. The woman initially refused to give up custody but this didn’t sit well with him, or the kids, who even fought with her and accused her of kidnapping when she was taking care of them.
In response, the woman gave her ex full custody of their kids.
“The whole week they were too much so I gave him 100 percent custody while agreeing to pay child support,” she wrote.
She mentioned that things were going alright for her and she was enjoying life outside of her family.
"It was summer so, of course, they were having lots of fun and since his new girlfriend couldn't have children it was like a perfect situation for them," she wrote. "Well, I moved out of the house, got an apartment where I could easily pay rent, and began living my best life."
However, her ex and children have regretted their actions and insisted the woman share custody.
The woman mentioned that her ex and his girlfriend had been having problems at home ever since the kids’ school started, having trouble working with the school for the kids' grades and being unable to give them a routine bedtime. In addition, he also feels bad for threatening her in the past.
However, the woman still refused, claiming her ex had made his choice by getting full custody and should now have to stick with that. Her ex then went to her family and told them everything. As a result, the woman’s family has been calling her non-stop which made her think that she might be wrong.
The woman's decision caused mixed reactions.
Some users claimed that since the woman didn’t have a good experience when she shared custody, she wasn’t wrong now to refuse it.
One user wrote, “This mother tried her best to keep her kids. The father wanted full custody and got it. I'm sure she was hurt and struggled… I know they are her kids but she's still a human being with feelings and needs.”
Another user wrote, “Now that your ex has gotten a taste of reality and it's not as fun as the kids thought, NOW he wants you to [co-parent]? No. That's not how this works. He doesn't get a free pass after threatening you just because he doesn't know how to parent his kids.”
What everyone can agree on is that kids should be a family's top priority — not revenge.
Many people also thought that both the woman and her ex were in the wrong as they were making their kids suffer in the midst of their conflict. In a Ted Talk, Meteorologist and divorcee Jillian Wells urged parents to remember that divorce is "not about you."
"I had to make a decision to put my kids' needs above my own just as I did when I was married," Wells said about her divorce. "It should be no different when you're divorced."
As one person put it, “Your kids are still young and their father obviously manipulated them but they still could apologize for what they did to you when he was manipulating them. You are acting like your kids are expendable. They’re your kids, try to connect a bit harder.”
However, experts say a 50/50 custody arrangement may not be the best for children either, so it's important for parents to work together to find an arrangement that works not only for them but more importantly for their kids.
Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.
