Mom Accused Of Being A 'Jerk' After Creating A Spreadsheet Of Everything She Pays For To Show Her Kids Their Dad Doesn't Contribute

She claimed her kids' father was bragging about paying for things when that wasn't the case.

dad reading to kids, woman looking concerned fizkes, Evgeny Atamanenko / Shutterstock

A mom was accused of being a "jerk" by her children's father after exposing how little he pays for things.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that her ex-partner has been lying about how much he contributes to their two children and decided to call him out on it.


She created a spreadsheet and showed her children how little their dad contributes.

In her Reddit post, the mom of two shared that she provides a lot for her kids, aged 11 and 13. "We live a pretty frugal life, all [of] my extra money I make goes into their college accounts or fun weekends," she wrote.

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mom creates spreadsheet to show her kids their dad doesn't contributePhoto: Reddit


Once a month, her kids will spend time with their dad, who has been dubbed the "fun parent." However, the title has put a sour taste in her mouth since he doesn't give her money toward their children but will pay for them to go on vacation.

While she admitted to holding back her tongue from saying bad things about her kids' father in front of them, she's sick and tired of him "pushing the narrative" that if he wasn't around, they wouldn't have a house to live in since he claims that he still pays for it.

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"It’s so false, and now the kids are going, 'Well, Dad pays for this.' My last straw [was] when the kids told me that it’s Dad who pays for the home," she continued. As a way to prove his lies, she pulled up a budget spreadsheet she had made.


mom creates spreadsheet to show her kids their dad doesn't contributePhoto: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock

The spreadsheet consisted of all of the things she's paid for and all of the things that their father has not and showed it to her children. "The kids were upset for being lied to and the oldest get in an argument with him since she called to confirm."

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After hearing about the spreadsheet, her ex-partner immediately got in contact with her and accused her of stirring up the situation and being a "jerk" about everything. "My friends are split on this and I am wondering if I went too far."

Most Redditors agreed that she wasn't in the wrong for telling her children the truth about their dad.

"If he was actually lying and the kids were believing his lies, then absolutely unequivocally [not the a-hole], period. You almost had to do this," one Reddit user insisted. "He doesn't look bad in their eyes because you exposed him. He looks bad because he lied, to begin with, and because he created the situation that he lied about."

mom creates spreadsheet to show her kids their dad doesn't contributePhoto: Evgeny Atamanenko / Shutterstock


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Another user added, "Hard situation, but honestly showing a spreadsheet of expenses is a more considerate and thoughtful way of showing this to kids. They are old enough to begin to understand and this is better than emotional manipulation, guilt, or deceit."

"He opened the door talking about money with the kids. Trying to seem like a better parent than he is. You simply showed them the truth of the situation. Their dad likes being the fun guy, not the consistent parent," a third user argued.

While many people sided with the mother, it's important to note that being able to create a healthy and nontoxic co-parenting situation is the always best outcome for children.


By doing that, it can promote emotional stability, consistency, positive role modeling, effective communication, reduced stress, shared parental involvement, and long-term positive outcomes.

Co-parents should try their hardest to think about the best interests of their children and work together respectfully and cooperatively.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.