Man Says That Any Woman Who Nurtures & Cares For Her Children Is Just 'Average' — 'She Doesn't Deserve A Pat On The Back Or Compensation For That'
He doesn't think being a mother is anything special.
therobbieharvey / TikTok If you log onto any social media platform, you will find that there is no shortage of men and women participating in an ongoing "war of the sexes." You’ll find "high-value men" listing what they will and won’t accept from a woman, and ladies who just want to be recognized for all that they bring to the table.
One man shared his controversial take on the value of motherhood and ruffled a few feathers in the process.
In a TikTok shared by "The Robbie Harvey," titled “Moms are average women?”, the man in the video said, “Any woman that takes care of her children and nurtures them and raises them properly is just an average woman,” a statement that Harvey scoffed at.
The unknown man went on to say that women don’t deserve a pat on the back or compensation for simply doing their jobs as mothers. He addressed comments about “unpaid labor” that mothers typically do in the process of rearing children, saying, “Yeah, well, once again, you’re just doing what any average adult does. No, you’re not owed s--t!”
Commenters quickly took offense and said things like, “He could’ve just said he was single instead of rambling on like that,” “He could have just said he’s never felt the touch of a woman, without all that,” and “His mom told him he was a special boy one too many times.”
But the man voicing his true feelings about moms is not the only person who has espoused this type of view on motherhood.
Being a mother is an important job, but your value isn’t tied to it.
Let’s face it: moms are very important when it comes to loving, nurturing, and protecting their children. They sacrifice their time, careers, and sometimes stay in loveless marriages just to ensure their children grow up in two-parent households.
With that said, becoming a mother is usually a choice that should not be taken lightly.
Two things can be true: mothers do deserve to be valued and recognized for their contribution and, if you make the decision to have children, the responsibility for them falls squarely on your shoulders.
Still, a 2021 survey by Pew Research found that moms dedicate more time than dads do when it comes to caring for children, especially when they are young. So, a man minimizing a role that he typically is not required to play doesn’t really sit well.
Traditionally, being a mother and wife has been attached to motherhood like a rite of passage. With so many women choosing to go childfree, it’s important that we don’t automatically associate having babies with our value as woman.
But for women that do have kids, it’s vital that they surround themselves with people who love and support them, while understanding the sacrifice and investment it takes to do an often-thankless job.
Taking good care of your kids is secondary to your self-care.
Everyone has their own opinions about society’s most valuable contributions, and listening to and internalizing the commentary some "rando" on the internet is not conducive to good self-care. As a mom, prioritizing your own mental, physical, and emotional health is vital to your ability to be present with your children.
Self-care can decrease feelings of overwhelm, stress, depression, burnout, and exhaustion, things that routinely come up when you are taking care of your children. When unaddressed, they can manifest as lashing out at them, impatience, and agitation. You and your children deserve a mom that is whole, healthy, and healed.
Remember that being a "good mother" is entirely subjective. What is impressive for one person might not be for another.
The most important thing is that you show up with kindness and compassion, do your best, and understand that everyone has a different path to walk in life, and that one person’s role is no less valuable than anyone else’s.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers lifestyle, relationship, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.