Photo: Letticia Massari / Shutterstock
His wife was understandably upset about the suggestion.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Feb 18, 2023
While coming up with names with his wife for the upcoming birth of their baby, a man threw out a suggestion that both surprised and aggravated his wife.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — he explained that he and his wife are expecting their child in about three months.
During the waiting time, he and his wife started throwing around baby names, but a particular suggestion from him has now gained him a bit of criticism.
While the two were brainstorming both girl and boy names for their baby since they don't know the gender yet, the man suddenly thought of someone he wanted to name his child after.
He suggested to his wife that they name their child after his late ex-girlfriend, Nancy.
"I had a girlfriend for around 6 years before meeting my now wife. Unfortunately, she passed away and I was absolutely devastated," he wrote in his Reddit post.
Since losing his ex-girlfriend, Nancy, he still finds the entire situation "painful," but always imagined himself naming one of his children after her in honor of her memory.
He eventually brought up the idea to his wife, telling her that if their child is a girl, they should think about naming her Nancy, however, his wife was not on board with the idea.
"She told me she didn't really feel comfortable with doing that. She felt it was strange and didn't make sense as Nancy had been my girlfriend."
He argued that Nancy had been a huge part of his life for so long, and he saw her as his best friend — for him, losing her had been a "terrible" time.
He explained that he and Nancy were not together before she passed away, and had split two years before her death but had ultimately decided to stay friends.
"I met my wife around 2 months before Nancy and I separated," he clarified.
As he still harbors grief for his late girlfriend, he feels as if it would be nice to honor her legacy and remember someone he considered a "dear friend" who he misses constantly.
"My wife doesn't share my views and honestly it's caused a lot of issues. I dropped it and said it was important we both agreed on the name but she's still insisting it's strange and she doesn't understand why I suggested it."
He concluded his post by pointing out that he doesn't understand why his wife is still bringing up the name suggestion and has ultimately blamed it on her feeling "insecure."
Most Reddit users who commented on the man's post agreed that he's being 'insensitive' and is in the wrong.
"It’s okay to still feel sad, but your wife does not need a daily reminder of your ex-girlfriend," one user wrote.
"I’ll be damned if I grow a baby for nine months just to name it after my husband's ex."
Another user added, "I was ready to consider that you dropped it as a mitigating factor, yet you’re continuing to profess incredulity and blame it on pregnancy stress and hormones for her very normal response and reaction"
"This is your wife’s baby too and you want her to think about someone you intimately loved before you married her?" a third user chimed in.
"Ouch. You can’t honestly think that wouldn’t be hurtful, do you?"
A fourth user remarked, "You'd be asking her to say your ex-girlfriend's name 20x a day for the rest of her life just so you can 'honor' a memory."
"I'm sorry about your loss but how about you focus on the present."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.