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Man Skips Wife's Ultrasounds Because He's 'Not The One Carrying The Baby' So She Refuses To Tell Him The Gender

Pregnant Woman, Doctor

A relationship takes two — it’s a commitment that both partners agree to show up for. 

Unfortunately, one woman’s husband is deciding he doesn’t have to put time into the relationship, even when it comes to their unborn child. 

She took to Reddit’s “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA), to ask if she was in the wrong for not telling her husband the gender of the baby. 

The subreddit is where users from across the internet ask for advice on a conflict in their lives and this post in particular seemed to attract numerous pieces of wisdom.

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The woman says her husband has missed several ultrasound appointments.

The post starts off innocent enough with the woman explaining how this is the couple’s first child and they’re so excited.

But the issue is that her husband is never around when she needs him. 

“He barely attends any of the doctor appointments with me and his excuses aren't even valid. He's willing to miss the doctor's appointment over soccer or a drink or board game with friends,” she explains. 

“His response is always, ‘I'm not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the doctor with you?”

Last week was one of the biggest appointments of her trimester, where they reveal the baby’s gender. She expected things to go smoothly only to have him pull out at the last minute for lunch with his friend. Her mother came instead. 

She explains that, “he texted asking me to tell him the results but I refused to tell him.”

After he continued to spam call her (and she hung up each time), the husband came home “fuming.”

Unfortunately, the wife explained that since he refused to come to the appointment then he forfeited the right to know the results of the baby’s gender until they are born. 

“He said he's the father and has the right to know,” she said but the wife still refused to tell him. 

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Reddit users are calling the husband a ‘deadbeat dad.’

Users have agreed the father is in the wrong in this situation. 

You can’t expect to miss one of the most important appointments in your unborn baby’s life and then get the results. 

One user pointed out that there’s more that happens with this appointment that makes it worse that he wasn’t in attendance. 

“To be clear, this is NOT a gender reveal appointment — it is a full anatomical scan in which they check every organ and limb for potential issues, and as a side note, can also often tell you which genitals the baby will have,” the user explains. 

“So your partner is not just skipping a ‘gender reveal’, but leaving their pregnant partner to attend a lengthy appointment on their own during which they could possibly receive concerning information about the development of their baby - if there are issues, it’s often during this scan that they are discovered. Partner is incredibly selfish, and is showing their true colors. Absolutely NTA.”

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Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news