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'I'm An Affair Baby' — Man Opens Up About Learning He Was The Product Of His Dad's Infidelity

Photo: Mental Health America (MHA) / Pexels
Man thinking with his head in hands

Your family might surprise you with new stories you've never heard every day, but you never expect that a new story would change how you view your entire birth.

One man wanted to share his feelings about finding out that he was an "affair baby," so he turned to Reddit’s forum called "r/TrueOffMyChest."

The subreddit is a place where folks can go if they don’t have anyone to talk to, and typically isn't a place for advice or opinions.

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He found out that he was born out of his father's cheating.

The post began with the man describing an ordeal that he recently went through. 

His dad had cheated, but he never knew about any of it.

He expressed that he felt “really dumb” when he found out because he always knew he was less than a year apart from his brother, which doesn't make any sense.

He grew up knowing they had different moms, he was raised partially by his biological mother while his brother lived with his mom. 

However, whenever the timelines of the boys' births were brought up to the family, they were told that there was no cheating and that his father and his wife “had been separated.”

Their dad ended up splitting with both of the women but maintained a relationship with his sons.

He wished that “nobody had lied to begin with” because it would have saved him from feeling like a fool.

Then he went on to say that he didn’t want to share how he found out about the affair. 

It was “explosive and traumatic,” he wrote.

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He felt guilty about his birth because he came from an affair.

“The worst part of all of it is my brother and his mom are the only two people I really consider to be my family,” he explained

“I don't want to go into too many details, but I got taken away from my [biological] mom when I was eleven because my brother's mom called cps on her.”

"My [biological] mom never wanted to be a mom, so she just wasn't and I was badly neglected as a kid," he continued. "My dad got custody of me, but he didn't really care about me or want me around either, so most of the time I just went with my brother to his mom's house."

He described his brother’s mom as “literally an angel,” since she essentially raised him knowing he was the result of cheating.

“I have called her mom since I was thirteen and she always calls me her son or her stepson even though she and my dad aren't married anymore.”

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He revealed that he had felt guilty for being the 'walking talking proof' of infidelity. 

"I feel [disgusted]. I don't even want to look at myself," he confessed.

"[My brother's mom] literally took a day off work yesterday to drive 2 hours to my university to come tell me in person that she loves me and she's never blamed me and I just don't get it because I feel like if I were her I would at least not want to be around me."

Even though his brother and his mom constantly reassured him that they loved him, he still felt as if they should “hate” him.

"I am the manifestation of their happy family getting destroyed," he believes. "I shouldn't even exist. I know the bad guys in this situation are my dad and my bio mom but I still feel like I played a part in it."

“If my brother's mom hadn't called CPS to begin with I think I would probably be dead and I don't know where I would be if I had been left with only a parent who didn't love me or want me around.”

He claims he doesn't know who to talk to because his brother and stepmother continue saying nice things over and over, only making him more upset.

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Redditors don't think he should feel guilty for his father's mistakes.

"You’re not responsible for the sins of your father," wrote one user.

"You’re carrying on the burden of the sins of your father," wrote another. "Already you can tell he’s a POS and will definitely get what’s coming to him. That being said, I know it might be hard to not feel guilty."

"Instead of looking at yourself as the 'manifestation of their happy family getting destroyed,' look at yourself instead as SOMEONE THAT SAVED THEM BOTH FROM A TERRIBLE MARRIAGE," they continued.

"Because your dad would have stepped out and acted like the POS he is anyway."

The comments were full of people saying reassuring things because, at the end of the day, it's not his fault at all.

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Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She covers entertainment, news and human interest stories at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.

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