Mom Of 5 Says If One Of Her Kids Gets Invited To A Party 'You Get All Of Us' — And People Are Calling Her Selfish
She will compensate with a bigger gift.
@JeenaWilder / Instagram / @Lyndsay Bones / TikTok A mother of five sparked controversy when she shared a TikTok video where she let people know that if you happen to invite one of her children to a birthday party, all of them will show up.
Though Jeena Wilder deleted her original TikTok post, after getting flak from other moms, she still has the video on her Instagram page.
Wilder says she brings all of her kids to birthday parties — even if only one was invited.
Her Instagram caption reads "If one of your children is invited to a birthday party does that mean all of your kids can go? I’m team the whole family goes!"
"I know that not everyone feels that way so I always make sure I spend a little bit more on the birthday gift than the average person would to make up for it."
The video opens with the words, "POV when you invite one of my children to a birthday party."
Wilder faces the camera as she grabs what we assume is an invitation from someone off-camera.
She giddily dances and smiles as she reads the invite.
Next, she turns to bounce away, waving her arms back and forth, as four children follow, one by one, doing the same thing.
Finally, her husband follows with a baby in tow.
People shared mixed reactions online.
Some praised the mom for making all of her kids feel included but others were somewhat critical.
"I would never ask because it’s rude," wrote an Instagram user. "You’re putting the host in an awkward position by asking. Children need independence outside of their large families. I am the oldest of five and having that sibling that always had to come along was annoying."
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On TikTok, a mom also shared her frustration.
She starts by playing the beginning of Jeena’s now-deleted TikTok video, then stops it abruptly, saying, “Please don’t do that. Please do not do that.”
She points out that bringing uninvited guests to a party is rude and that there may be several factors at play that Jeena could be missing.
Lyndsay herself has six children and claims to have witnessed so many “epic meltdowns” when one of the children gets invited somewhere and the others are left out.
As a parent, though hurtful, she believes this is just “part of the deal.”
She thinks that bringing the other children without permission or even putting the other parent on the spot by asking if they can come sets your kids up for alienation.
In Lyndsay’s view, once word gets around that anyone who wants to invite your child to a party will have to take all of your children, the invites will be few and far between.
She then goes on to tell her own story about her eldest child.
She says that her family was poor when the child was little, but that they had been able to put their kids in an affluent private school where the other kids had epic birthday parties.
Her child didn’t want to usual economic party that Lindsay favored.
Instead, they wanted a huge party at a venue like the ones they had seen their classmates have.
Her family “scraped together" just enough money for their child and nine friends to get together and celebrate in the way they wanted.
A mother showed up with the kid that was invited along with two siblings and asked if they all could stay.
Too embarrassed to say she couldn’t afford it, Lindsay agreed.
This, of course, created financial difficulties for her family, resulting in them overdrawing their account to allow more kids to attend.
She ends the video by telling viewers that the mere act of asking if additional kids can attend puts parents in a precarious situation.
Although Jeena’s comments were turned off, Lyndsay’s viewers had a lot to say about her take.
One person posted, “It’s rude of you to think that all parents have a sitter to watch the other kids while one goes to a birthday party.”
Another person agreed with Lyndsay, citing the need for individuality. They stated, “Honestly, I just think my kids’ siblings shouldn’t have to be included in their friend’s party. Kids deserve to have separate time from their siblings.”
A few people shared their own beliefs about how to handle it with one person commenting, “I’m native, if you invite one of us, you invite all of us.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.