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The soon-to-be mother had already left.
By Taylor Haynes — Written on Jan 29, 2023
One man went to Reddit to find out if he was wrong for suggesting to his wife that she leave a friend’s baby shower, after she burst into tears and had all of the guests consoling her.
He shared his story on Reddit's “r/AmItheA–-hole” (AITA) subreddit, a place where folks can get feedback and opinions on conflicts that are going on in their lives.
Online users have a ranking system, where they determine whether or not someone is “the a–-hole.”
He didn't want his wife to go to his coworker's wife's baby shower while they were trying to conceive.
The post began with the 28-year-old revealing to readers that he and his wife were trying to have a baby.
They've been married for a year but only officially started trying for a baby in September — so they're about four months in.
“No luck so far but the doctor did say at our first appointment that it typically takes close to a year for most couples to conceive,” he wrote.
His wife, for unknown reasons, has been telling people that she was infertile even though the doctor insisted that she wasn’t.
“My wife and I went to my work Christmas party in mid-December, where my wife met my coworker's wife (let’s call her Mary) and they took a liking to each other,” wrote the husband.
"Mary was pregnant and invited my wife to her baby shower (which was yesterday), and my wife sounded excited to go.”
Before they committed to going, however, her husband checked in with her and asked her if she was truly going to be ok with being at an event where pregnancy would be a central topic.
“I know my wife and I know what typically bothers her. I knew she wouldn’t bask in happiness over someone else’s pregnancy so I urged her to think it through.”
He wasn’t convinced, but she went along to the baby shower anyway, despite his reasonable advice.
The wife had all the guests at the baby shower consoling her, while the pregnant host left without anyone noticing.
When the baby shower started, the husband made sure to stay nearby at a cafe.
He seemed to have a sixth sense and knew his wife would need him.
“About 40 minutes in, she calls me and asks me to come,” he wrote. “I find her at the entrance of the house crying and a BUNCH of women consoling her. When she saw me she came to me and pulled me to the garden to talk.”
She admitted that when she looked at Mary's pregnant belly, the tears just started flowing out of her.
Once everyone noticed how emotional she had gotten, all of Mary’s friends had run after her to make sure she was okay.
Despite her husband's pleading, she refused to leave the baby shower.
In response to her claiming she felt better and could manage the rest of the party, he said, "babe, you know that’s not going to happen."
"And I doubt the attention will be on Mary after this and that’s not great. It’s her baby shower and she deserves to be celebrated."
He didn't believe that it would be so easy for her to return, but he left her there without another word, only returning several hours later when the party neared its end.
“My coworker and I stepped into the house and lo and behold, everyone is sitting in a circle with my wife being the [center] of attention,” he continued.
Mary, meanwhile, was nowhere to be found — it turns out she left her own shower to avoid the drama of it all.
When they got into the car, his wife admitted that she hadn't even noticed Mary left.
“I know you’re going through a hard time but why on earth would you and her friends do this?” he asked his wife.
“If they consoled you for a few minutes that’s fine but the entire party? We really should’ve left earlier.”
She was offended and opted to ride the rest of the way home in silence.
When he tried to bring it up, she ignored him and left their home.
Everyone agreed that he was 'Not the A--hole,' but that his wife was instead.
"I don't really know where to start with this. Your wife sounds like A LOT. You've only been trying to conceive since September," wrote one user. "That's hardly any time at all...it's very unusual to get pregnant straight away."
"There is no evidence there's an issue, yet she's acting like she's having fertility issues, which is very attention-seeking behavior and pretty insensitive to people with real problems."
They claim that his wife may be faking all of it, albeit unintentionally, in order to get attention from those around her.
"Then she meets this woman just a few weeks ago, goes to her baby shower and completely ruins it and makes it all about herself. That's really horrible."
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She covers entertainment, news and human interest stories at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.