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Pregnant Mom Who Wasn't Invited To Her Own Baby Shower Wonders If She's Wrong For Being Upset

Photo: Jacob Lund / Shutterstock
pregnant woman at baby shower party

A pregnant woman is questioning if she's wrong for being upset after not being invited to a baby shower for the child that she is carrying.

Posting to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A-hole), the woman, 31, explained that a relative of her boyfriend had decided to throw together a shower, but failed to invite her.

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"My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We lived separately. He was 30 and lived with his parents. I was 31 and lived with my 6-year-old. We had our baby on September 14th," the woman's Reddit post began.

The woman was told that the baby shower was supposed to be "men only."

The baby shower was scheduled for sometime in August, and her boyfriend's aunt told the woman that the shower was only for him, his male relatives, and male friends.

However, she realized that her boyfriend's aunt had "lied," inviting her boyfriend's mother, his female cousin, and the aunt also attended as well.

"She said I wasn’t allowed to come. If it were [a] 'men only' baby shower, then why were those women there?" the woman questioned.

The woman was left flabbergasted that she hadn't been invited to a shower thrown for the baby that she was carrying.

She added that her boyfriend hadn't defended her either, and when she asked about why she wasn't allowed, he simply told her that "it was out of his control."

"I feel like he should’ve stood up for me and said that it didn’t sound fair, that it should be a baby shower for the both of us," she wrote.

The woman also pointed out that her boyfriend hasn't been the most hands-on father to deserve being thrown a baby shower in his honor.

"He didn’t even show up to many of my baby appointments except for two of them," she explained.

"One being when we found out the gender. It was on my birthday, but he had to leave shortly after the appointment because he was spending the day with his mom."

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She continued, saying that he had come to a "three-hour glucose test" appointment, but spent the entire time on his phone talking to his mother.

Her boyfriend also hadn't been there for her much during her entire pregnancy and didn't help whenever she was sick or needed assistance in lifting things.

"I had to do it mostly by myself," She added, noting that she and her boyfriend are supposed to be equally sharing responsibilities since they're together. 

The woman said that her boyfriend told her that his aunt throwing the baby shower without inviting her hadn't been done "out of spite." and that "it was supposed to be guys only." 

She concluded her post by pointing out that excluding her from the baby shower doesn't make any sense considering she's the baby's mother.

Most of the comments under the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).

"I wish you weren’t linked to this man for the rest of your life, because he’s married to his mom, and you’re the other woman," one user wrote.

Another user wrote, "that's not a baby shower, that's a party you [weren't] invited to. If you plan a baby shower without the mother or the baby (which go hand in hand) then it's no longer a baby shower." 

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.