I'm Tired Of People Asking Me If I've Found Someone Yet

I am my own person, and I don’t need someone else to wander into my life and tell me otherwise.

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By Sarah Dowell

As we get older, more people ask us if we’ve “found” anyone yet. We keep getting asked if we’ve met that special someone that’s supposed to change our lives.

This question is exhausting.

The older we get, the more frequently people will ask it. It’s almost as if people think that we’re not complete unless we have a romantic partner.

How can we be a full person? How can we go through everything without a significant other? Easily. That’s the answer. It’s pretty easy to deal with things without a significant other.


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Sometimes it’s even easier to go through something without another person.

Life isn’t about searching for someone else. It shouldn’t be about wondering if we’re going to find that magical person and have a storybook romance.

Sometimes, though, we meet someone pretty perfect, and they end up becoming our best friend. And, more often than not, that’s even better.

Frankly, I’m tired of being asked if I’ve found someone, met someone, or if I’m going to end up with the person I just consider to be a friend.

Not everything involving another person equals romance.


I’m tired of people thinking I need someone else not to feel alone. I am not alone.

A romance isn’t something that should complete me or anyone else. A romance, a boyfriend, a husband — that’s not going to complete me.

I complete myself; I am a full person. I am my own person, and I don’t need someone else to wander into my life and tell me otherwise.

Yes, I’m willing to compromise for friendships and partnerships. I’m willing to work on things that bother them, and I’m willing to improve myself and take their advice.

However, I’m not willing to say that someone else “completes” me. What’s healthy is knowing that you’re a complete person.


Not having a relationship is actually, believe it or not, okay. Being “alone” isn’t always about being alone.

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. So it’s okay not to be in a relationship.

I can rephrase and repeat that a million different ways: It’s okay not to be in a romantic relationship.

Friendships are great, since that means you’re not alone. A romance should never be your top priority in life.

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I’m not saying that it’s not a good plan, and that it shouldn’t be a part of your life. Not at all.

Romance is a vital part of your life. Feeling loved and loving someone in return is a wonderful feeling! Not all relationships are toxic, and being in a relationship is also okay.


All I’m saying is that I’m tired of people making romance the top priority in everyone’s life.

Why does it matter if I’ve met someone recently? Why does it matter if there’s someone special in my world? It doesn’t.

If and when I meet the right person, I’ll make it known.

In the meantime, I’m not willing to jump into a relationship to fit into what’s socially expected of me. And I’m tired of being asked about it.

I’m going to hold off until I find someone worthy of my time, my life, and my love. I’ll wait for a person who’s willing to be there for me no matter what. It’s worth it to hold out until the right person comes along.


And when they do, you better bet you won’t have to ask if I’ve found anyone.

When the right person comes along, I might wait a little to tell people about them — it’s intimidating to introduce them to all of you at once. Bragging about them, though? That’s a different story.

When I’m looking for someone, and when I do find the right person, I will let you know.

Stop asking if I’ve found anyone yet. It won’t be a secret when I find the person I feel is worthy of letting you all know about.

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Sarah Dowell is a writer whose work has appeared on Unwritten, YourTango, and Thought Catalog. She's passionate writing about helping people love themselves and finding true happiness.