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Leave that man in the past!
By Emily Ratay — Written on Sep 28, 2018
Your ex is no longer with you for a reason, so there's no good reason to waste your time in the past thinking about him. I won't force you to agree with me (even though I already know I'm right), but we have all been in a situation where we thought about getting back together with an ex.
RELATED: How You Treat Your Ex, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Maybe your current relationship isn't everything you hoped it would be. Maybe your horoscope signs aren't really that compatible. Maybe you're super lonely and you hate being single, or maybe you're just craving the familiar – but there is that one person you can probably picture right now that you would at least consider getting back together with.
Listen, I get it. Just because you're broken up now doesn't mean there weren't a few good times when you were together. I mean, he was the first person to take you to meet the family. And he was also an amazing listener – your BFF doesn't even listen to you that well! See?
We can all reminisce on the good times we've had with our now-exes. But let me stop you there before you blame the Full Moon, astrology, and pick up your phone and send a text you're going to regret. Exes are exes for a reason – a GOOD reason, in fact.
Sure, there are some exes that would be okay to get back together with, but let's be honest, most breakups need to happen. Just because he was a good listener doesn't mean he didn't still clip his toenails on your bed.
And yeah, he took you to meet his family (which was lovely), but he also acted like he was in a relationship with Fortnite more than he did when he was with you.
*Sigh* Boys, amirite? My point is, your ex is probably not worth your time. You've grown and evolved from this relationship! And he's still probably clipping his toenails on someone else's bed right now. So, I think you're the winner. And I also think that he doesn't deserve the time of day from you.
But life happens, and we get lonely, and we want to have feelings for someone again. So, don't beat yourself up if you're exploring the ex-thing again. Hey, he might actually surprise you this time around. But don't get your hopes up.
If you're wondering if this is the right move for you, think about how you felt on your worst day with him. Was it just the fact that you were both in a rough spot at the time and decided to end things, or did your relationship become so toxic that if you didn't end things then, things could have gotten uglier?
Sometimes, the heartbreak of breaking up is better in the long run than staying with someone who is clearly no good for you. But that's not what this is about. This is about deciding if you should risk it and take the next step in possibly repairing your relationship with your ex.
Honestly, if you ask me, he's not worth your time, period. But if you still need some convincing, I totally understand. Here is why he isn't worth your time, based on his zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
The reason you broke up with Aries in the first place is probably the same reason he isn’t worth your time now: He’s totally selfish! Honestly, do you know anyone else who talks THIS much about himself?! And it wouldn’t be so bad (but still pretty bad) if he were just in love with himself. No, he’s the kind of selfish person who has to make everything about himself AND make you feel bad about it somehow.
If you tell him you can’t hang out because you’re under the weather, he’ll tell you that his throat hurts too but that he’s still making time for you. If you’re trying to tell him how much you love your new spin class, he’ll talk over you about himself until you stop talking. Ugh, hard pass.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus is a smart guy – we can give him that, can’t we? He knows when a relationship is over and when it’s appropriate to start calling you his ex. But he also believes that he’s entitled to pretty much everything, and he uses that to get you to stick around after the break-up. If he tells you that you’re number one in his book, but all you are to him is a booty call, it’s time to cut him loose. This is not something to be flattered about.
He is not worth your time if all you are to him is a booty call. He can sweet talk you all you want, but at the end of the day, he’s still getting his rocks off and you’re still driving half an hour back to your place… alone. Block his number and know that you deserve so much more.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini wants to be on good terms with everyone, including the multiple exes he’s ghosted in the past year. Of course, even with knowing his history, it can be easy to get back into the routine you had when you were together. He IS fun, after all! But don’t let that distract you from the fact that he’s still (really, still?) trash talking his other exes and telling you what to do. How can he do that at the same time? Easy!
If you notice him saying something like, “You never let things go, it’s so annoying. My other ex couldn’t either, but at least she wasn’t crazy about it like you are,” it’s time to go. He clearly has not changed, and he certainly isn’t going to any time soon. Not worth it!
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Okay, you’re not going to lie: You kind of liked how worked up Cancer got when you were dating. It was kind of hot seeing him so passionate about things! That said, things look a lot different now that the two of you are over. Now, it just looks like he has a hard time controlling his anger… and his temper… and his irritation. Oh, that’s all the same thing? Yeah, he’s a hot head (and not the sexy kind).
You were probably able to overlook it when you were together thanks to your rose-colored glasses, but now that you’re exes, you realize that he’s probably better off single so he can work on himself. I say you stay away before he gets attached to you again and blows up when you ditch him.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
When you first starting dating Leo, you were probably so touched that he was eager to meet all of your friends. I mean, he loves meeting new people anyway, but getting to meet the people who love you as much as he does? That’s huge! You eventually broke up because of other things, but at least he was still a total angel around your friends, right?! Wrong, sis.
Now that you’re exes, he feels like he can say whatever he wants to you. And if you’re gonna try to make it work again, you gotta be honest! Here it is: He despised your friends (all annoying) and kinda wanted to bang your BFF. Hm. Okay. Maybe he stays an ex for the rest of forever.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Remember how cute and chivalrous it was when he used to order for you in restaurants and told you to wear specific shoes when you met his family? Yeah, now that it’s over, you can finally admit that Virgo was totally controlling. It was always his way or the highway, but you couldn’t even tell with the heart eyes you had for him.
Now that you’ve broached the topic of possibly getting back together, he has an entire list of do’s and don’ts that he expects you to follow. What a pain in the butt. You haven’t even decided if this is really what you want and he’s already controlling the situation! How ‘bout no.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
One of the best things about dating Libra was that there was always an abundance of romance. And the worst thing about being his ex is that he still expects you to sweep him off his feet. He probably already knows that he has no intention of giving you the time of day or getting back together, but he does like the fact that you’re trying so hard to talk to him.
Leave him in the past – it’s where he belongs. You know you’re making all the effort, and you know he never texts you first, but you’re still holding onto something. What he really wants is attention, which is exactly what you’re doing with all this effort. Give it up! He’s not worth it.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Okay, the mysteriousness of Scorpio is pretty sexy. We can agree on that. But that’s also the reason your relationship went south. He never opened up, didn’t care about sharing his personal life with you, and got angry when you tried to pry. And now that he’s back in your life, you are beginning to realize that things never change. He’s still sneaky and mysterious, but now he’s weird about it, too. Is he hiding something?
Honestly, what is SO hard about telling you that he’s not interested in something serious?! He’d rather be shady about why he can’t hang out on Friday or why his phone keeps going off. Unless you want to role-play Sherlock Holmes in the bedroom this time around, he’s better off as an ex.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius is one of those exes that always surprise you… in a bad way. You think that he’ll be different this time. You think he’s totally down to try this thing again, but then you realize that he keeps standing you up. Every time you suggest a hangout sesh, he says he’ll be there – but he never shows. And it’s not even like he’s doing it to spite you. He really just doesn’t care that much.
Having a flake for a boyfriend sucks, but when he’s your ex, it doesn’t matter. Let him frustrate someone else – you’re done! You need someone whose actions will speak louder than his words, and Sagittarius is NOT that someone for you.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn wants to have his cake and eat it, too. He thinks that he can get whatever he wants, just because he says so (even as an ex). Obviously, this isn’t true, but he keeps trying because there’s always a good chance someone will let him be the controlling type without questioning it. This is why he thinks he can be with you during the week and have his own life on the weekends. Ghosting hurts, but what he does hurts more.
When you wonder where he goes every Friday through Sunday, check his Instagram page. He doesn’t even care enough about you to hide the fact that he’s totally two-timing you. You can’t get ahold of him for three out of seven days of the week, yet he thinks you’re cool with it. Ummm, no.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Sometimes, Aquarius gets lonely. And he wants to hang out with you, but only in the comfort of his home. And he likes chilling with you because you never ask dumb questions during movies. But whenever you suggest going out, he tells you he’s busy. What he’s really doing is using you for company (why can’t he just get friends?) without actually dating you because dating is too complicated for him.
I guarantee if you ask him what you two are or trying to get him to hang out with you in public, he’ll make a big fuss about why it matters to define what this is. Uhhh, because it’s important to you? Oh, but actually, this isn’t anything because he’s not worth the time.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces is one of the worst exes because when he’s not whining about how lonely and sad he is after you’ve broken up with him, he’s always orbiting your life – which means you can never really get away from him. He’s the kind of ex who will show up at the same bar your friends are at (because he saw it on your Instagram), hoping for a hug and some alone time. Ew, no thanks. Unfortunately, it doesn’t end there.
The reason he’s not worth your time (besides acting more like a leech than an ex) is that he assumes you’ll drop everything to be with him again. And when you clearly won’t, he turns on the self-pity and tries to get you to feel guilty for hurting his feelings. Tell him, “Boy, bye,” already.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.
