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They try to convince themselves that they're okay with less than they deserve.
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Jun 15, 2018
We get the message at an early age to never settle when it comes to relationships, and yet, many people still do. What is it that makes people settle for less when it comes to love and commitment? In astrology, there are some zodiac signs who settle in relationships, even though their horoscope tells them otherwise.
When you’re single, there’s often the feeling that somehow you failed by not being in a relationship, and it gets worse the older that you get. It’s a dated way of thinking — the idea that any relationship is better than no relationship — and it’s an idea that’s not only narrow-minded, it’s unhealthy.
Sometimes, you can be in a relationship and there’s nothing especially bad about it, but it just doesn't excite you or you feel as if you’re stagnating. No relationship is going to be in the honeymoon phase forever, and they all take a lot of work, but if you’re just going through the motions because you think you’ll never find anything better, that’s not good for you, your partner, or the relationship itself.
Things don’t naturally get better just because we want them to. We have to have some spark to build on, a potential, and the ability to take action. When you settle, you not only give up on your relationship, you give up on yourself and your happiness.
There are times when we’re settling but may refuse to acknowledge it. We push our feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and boredom down, not wanting to face the truth. We tell ourselves that every relationship has its ups and downs and that now is just a downtime, and eventually it will get better.
We’re all worth more than settling for less than we deserve, so if you take a hard look at your relationship and it doesn't measure up, know that there’s no shame in being alone; in fact, it’s much better than the slow death of a mediocre relationship.
1. CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
There are times when Cancer has a lot of self-doubts and starts to believe that they can't do any better than what they've already got. They tell themselves that their relationship is fine and that most relationships aren't that exciting, but deep inside they know they want more, they're just fearful about what might happen if they leave.
Cancers have had enough pain in their life, they'd rather not be hurt again. They don't realize that they're actually hurting themselves by not demanding more for themselves.
2. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
It took a lot of time and effort for Taurus to get into a relationship in the first place. They're not likely to give it up anytime soon, no matter how deeply unsatisfying it might be. Plus, Taurus would have to admit to themselves that they made a mistake, and that is an extremely difficult thing for them to do.
It's likely they'll stay in an unsatisfying relationship and rationalize to themselves that it's not so bad or that it gives them most of what they need. If the relationship was good, then Taurus wouldn't be spending so much time thinking of those who are in worse relationships than their own.
3. LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Libras hate conflict and are used to settling. They will try to find the good things in the relationship and justify why they're with the right person. The truth is Libras don't like to be alone. They enjoy being around people and interacting with them.
When they're in a relationship, even just an okay one, they've got somebody and they're willing to make the best of it. Libras tend to think that they're very skilled at hiding their dissatisfaction, but they're not. Everybody knows that Libra is settling in their relationship.
4. PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Many Pisces have the qualities you need for settling in a relationship — they love being in love, they have moments of insecurity and self-doubt, and they're big believers in giving second chances. So, if their partner isn't everything that they want right now, Pisces believes that over time and given enough encouragement, they'll become the person that Pisces would like them to be.
However, while you can depend on people changing, there's no way to guarantee that they're going to change in the way you want them to — no matter how much you try to guide them.
5. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
While Virgos strive for perfection, they know too well how impossible it is to achieve it. Sometimes okay has to be good enough, even if it's in regard to their relationship. Virgos figure that they have all the tools they need to fix whatever isn't working with their relationship, and that it should be up to them to change it.
This puts a lot of pressure on them, and it's also a pretty selfish way of looking at things. A relationship is made up of two people, and Virgo (whose intentions may be good) tends to take their partner out of the equation.
6. CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Once Capricorn has made a commitment — any kind of commitment — they tend to keep them, no matter how unhappy or miserable they are. It would be one thing if Capricorn's relationship was in a bubble and no one knew about it but them, then Capricorn might feel less pressure to make their relationship work. However, not only do people know about the relationship, there are probably a lot of people with some emotional investment in it.
Capricorn needs to realize that just because a relationship isn't successful, it doesn't mean that the parties involved failed. These things happen to everyone, and the sooner that Capricorn is honest with themselves and decides to stop settling for less than they deserve, the better.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.