100 Hilarious Donut Quotes & Instagram Caption Ideas For Everyone With A Sweet Tooth

Photo: Syda Productions / shutterstock
two girls holding donuts up to their eyes

The only thing more satisfying than a donut is having the right donut quotes to post with it.

There's even a national holiday in celebration of the sweet treat that no one knows how to spell correctly.

Is it donut? Doughnut? Technically it's both, believe it or not. Who cares — as long as it's in your belly, am I right? And in a cute donut quote for your Instagram caption.

According to the Smithsonian Magazine, donuts came to be a few different ways, but the gist of it goes like this: a mother from the mid-19th century wanted to provide pastries that wouldn't spoil so easily for her son's long shipping voyages through New England's waterways.

She "put hazelnuts or walnuts in the center, where the dough might not cook through, and in a literal-minded way called them doughnuts," writes David A. Taylor.

Then, of course, her son took all the credit for the maybe-even-more famous donut hole.

Either way, the love for donuts is real. And we've made that apparent with the hundreds of funny donut quotes all over the internet.

Here are 100 of the best donut quotes and cute donut-themed photos and donut captions for everyone with a sweet tooth.

Short Donut Captions:

1. "For a second I forgot the word 'donut' and called them 'sugar bagels.' I'm never speaking again." — Joe King

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2. "Donut worry, be happy."  — Iona Mink

3. "The game has officially been changed." — Dick Tate

4. "Donuts are like people. They come in different sizes. If only they had sprinkles." — Imma Hog

5. "When you kinda want abs, but you kinda wanna eat 17 donuts and 3 large pizzas." — Al E. Gater

6. "Oh donut even." — Frank N. Stein

7. "Donut stop believing!" — Brighton Early

8. "Donut worry, be happy!" — Mary B. Dunn

9. "Donut give up." — Horace Cope

10. "You donut know how much I love you." — Holly Wood

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11. "All you need is love and donuts." — Hugh Raye

12. "The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole." — Oscar Wilde

13. "A donut is happiness with sprinkles on top." — Hap E. Ness

14. "Donuts are my love language." — Bea O' Problem

15. "Whatever sprinkles your donuts." — Heywood U Cuddleme

16. "Donut kill my vibe." — Rick O'Shea

17. "Life is short, eat more donuts!" — Amanda Hugenkiss

18. "Love — Life — Donuts." — I.C. Freely

19. "Donuts are cheaper than therapy."  — Eura Snotball

20. "Donut judge me." — Anita Man

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Most Delectable Donut Quotes

21. "You compl-eat me!" — Dors Shutt

22. "And the donut just stood there with a glazed expression." — Miles A. Head

23. "You need to understand the difference between want and need. Like I want abs, but I need donuts." — Drew A. Head

24. "I hate when I think I'm buying organic vegetables and when I get home I discover they're just regular donuts." — Gery Attrick

25. "I just need like a 4-hour nap, a coffee, and 3 donuts. Also, can we scratch the whole adult thing today?" — Arty Fischel

26. "Eat more hole foods. AKA donuts." — Polly C. Holder

27. "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking for it to be a donut." — Reg Oyce

28. "Oh donuts ... how I love your curves and all your edges... all your perfect imperfections." — Rhoda Camel

29. "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" — Matt Groening

30. "Everything is better with donuts." — Robyn Banks

31. "Donut panic!" — Lois Price

32. "Discretion, like the hole in a doughnut, does not exist except as an area left open by a surrounding belt of restriction. It is, therefore, a relative concept." — Ronald Dworkin

33.  "I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was, 'I bet a donut wouldn't have done this to me.'" — Don Keigh

34. "As you ramble on through life, Brother, Whatever be your goal, Keep your eye upon the doughnut, And not upon the hole." ― Margaret Atwood

35. "Some people aren't good at anything. Some people just really like donuts." ― Lisa Graff

36. "My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts." ― Tyler Oakley

37. "Fresh popcorn is near impossible to resist, second only to fresh doughnuts." ― Shannon Wiersbitzky

38. "So I went in this cheap-looking restaurant and had doughnuts and coffee. Only, I didn't eat the doughnuts. I couldn't swallow them too well. The thing is, if you get very depressed about something, it's hard as hell to swallow." ― J.D. Salinger

39. "Krispy Kreme Doughnuts would be the best way to go." ― Jennifer Asbenson

40. "Donut come for me." — Kim Chi, "Rupaul's Drag Race"

41. "Mmm... donuts." — Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons"

42. "I owe it all to little chocolate donuts." — John Belushi

43. "With a doughnut in each hand, anything is possible." — Jameela Jamil

44. "I’d rather get a hot dog or a doughnut than write a song." — John Prine

45. "A doughnut does not creep up on you." — Katie Hopkins

46. "Reality is like a doughnut: Everything that is good and funny and juicy is outside the center, which is just emptiness." — Olga Tokarczuk

47. "Indeed, it is a proven mathematical theorem that a doughnut is topologically distinct from a sphere." — Simon Singh

48. "An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut." — George Jean Nathan

49. "If you really taste a doughnut, it's pretty disgusting. They taste of grease." — Ruth Reichl

50. "I still take my own lunches to work. That way I can control what I'm eating, as opposed to another doughnut." — Marianne Jean-Baptiste

51. "After having a real baby, I was sitting on a doughnut for a month." —  Katie Lowes

52. "You go into any doughnut shop and look at three cops having coffee, I guarantee I look like one of them." — Dean Norris

Pun Donut Captions

53. "Donut even think about." — Helen Hywater

54. "Donut answer the phone." — Herbie Hind

55. "Donut look at me like that." — Lee Vitoff

56. "Donut cross my boundaries." — Earl E. Bird

57. "Donut tell me how to feel." — Anita Bath

58. "Donut run away." — Anita Room

59. "Donut borrow money from me." — Sarah Nader

60. "Donut celebrate without me!" — Jay Walker

61. "Donut forget me." — Yul B. Allwight

62. "Donut forget my name." — Hedda Hare

Instagram Captions for Donuts

63. "Whether you take the doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit." — Haruki Murakami 

64. "New mysteries. New day. Fresh doughnuts." ― David Lynch

65. "If love eats the donut, does time eat the hole?" — Tom Robbins

66. "I don’t care about the weight. You know, I’m lucky; I’m one of those people — I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat." — Louis C. K.

67. "If you stop eating donuts you will live 3 years longer. It’s just 3 more years that you want a donut." — Lewis Black

68. "I’m not going to work in a place where I can’t eat donuts." — Kristen Ashley

69. "A new study found that Americans are exercising more than ever but still not losing much weight. Not good in fact, it’s all I could think about on my jog to Dunkin’ Donuts." — Jimmy Fallon

70. "Sure, beauty has the power to excite men. But so does a box of donuts." — Susan Jane Gilman

71. "America is at war. Go eat a donut." — Chris Pratt

72. "A flute without holes is not a flute. A donut without a hole is a Danish." — Chevy Chase

73. "I’m an all-things-in-moderation kind of person. I do eat a warm donut occasionally. I especially enjoy a cider donut when I’m apple picking. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that." — Rachael Ray

74. "I was sacked from Dunkin’ Donuts for squirting the donuts jelly all over the customers." — Madonna Ciccone

75. "She was carrying two coffees and a donut bag, and right then and there, he fell in love." — Jill Shalvis

76. "I don’t care whether I’m good enough. It don’t care whether I snore or not. It don’t care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money." — Danny DeVito

77. "When shopping at Dunkin’ Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, ‘Little David likes cream-filled, and Susie wanted jelly.’ That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go." — Linda Sunshine

78. "Anyhow, the hole in the donut is at least digestible." — H. L. Mencken

79. "Much of my youth was spent in the parking lot or inside a Dunkin’ Donuts." — Eli Roth

80. "When you have a flaming hot donut in your hand and you’re trying to eat it you’re not worried about 10 and 2." — Jase Robertson

Donut Catchphrases and Taglines

81. "Is there actually anything that doughnuts can’t do?" — Mary B. Dunn

82. "Donut talk to me ever again." — Shirley U. Care

83. "Donut tell me what to do." — Mand Lynne

84. "Donut take a bite of my donut." — Amanda Lynne

85. "It’s donut o’clock!" — Felix Cited

86. "I licked it, so it’s mine." — Gladys Canby

87. "Glazed, sprinkled, frosted, filled...every doughnut is special." — Stan Dupp

88. "Keep calm and eat a doughnut." — Lorne Mowers

89. "Jellied for breakfast, frosted for lunch, cream-filled for dinner, and glazed for in-between meals." — Lori Driver

90. "Let it rain donuts and wait for the sunshine!" — Shirley U. Simi

91. "Exercise is proof that I love my body. And donuts? Oh, I love donuts more than anything else." — Will U. Pardee

92. "I love y’all, but I love donuts more." — Will U. Simi

93. "Did you know? The center of a ring doughnut has zero calories?" — Wet Willie

94. "Don’t deny it. I know you want it badly." — Joe King

95. "Donuts above anything else." — Iona Mink

96. "Humans cannot live on coffee alone. That’s why donuts were invented!" — Amanda Lynne

97. "Check out my six-pack...box of donuts." — Al E. Gater

98. "Doughnuts don’t judge;they understand." — Holly Wood

99. "Here’s a dozen reasons to be happy!" — Horace Cope

100. "But first, doughnuts." — Jay Walker

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Kayla Cavanagh is an editor and writer living in Central Florida, covering relationship, quotes and pop-culture topics.