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Part of healing is acknowledging why you do the things you do.
By Rayi Noormega
Last updated on Dec 29, 2023
Whether it's because of heartbreak from the end of a relationship, grief from the death of a loved one, or unhealed childhood trauma, emotional wounds make us do things we normally wouldn't.
But before you can begin the healing process, it's important to recognize all your questionable actions so you can move forward.
Here are 10 things people with emotional wounds do without realizing.
1. You cry easily over small things.
When you have emotional wounds, you're always in tears because you feel the pain within yourself subconsciously. You cry over movies or books, and you become emotional when you see something that touches your heart.
When you find yourself crying too much, pay attention to your inner well-being, as it might be a sign that you’re hurting inside. While crying isn't a bad thing, doing so quite often means you have emotional wounds that haven't yet been healed.
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2. You lose interest in the things you used to enjoy.
Emotional wounds will make it difficult to concentrate and focus on the things you used to do. You become unmotivated because your negative emotions are most likely more in charge than you realize.
But once you understand that you're no longer enjoying the things you used to, ask yourself why and don’t get stuck doing anything. The more you do nothing, the more you feel the pain of your emotional wounds.
3. You get annoyed easily by people’s behaviors.
Having unhealed emotional wounds makes you easily triggered emotionally by people’s behaviors around you. You will be highly sensitive toward people’s words, intonations, questions, and even their jokes, even though you may truly be interested in what they have to say.
The emotional wounds make you avoid interactions with others, and it leads to social withdrawal. Even though having quality time with yourself is important, remember that being open with other people can also help reduce the pain of your emotional wounds.
4. You feel worthless and hopeless.
You may look down on yourself and feel worthless. You will blame yourself and feel stupid for being hurt so much. You also feel hopeless and broken beyond repair.
When you feel like you're at the lowest point of your life, try to reach out to people who are really close to you. Let yourself be cared for and loved, because social support could increase your confidence and make you feel better about where you are right now.
5. You keep replaying the bad memories in your head.
When you can’t forget a painful experience from your past and it keeps replaying in your head, there’s a possibility that it has become one of your emotional wounds.
Your inability to forget this experience is actually a sign that you should acknowledge that experience and accept the hurt. Try to identify and look for the reasons why it made you hurt so much, and accept that being hurt because of that experience is okay and normal.
6. You feel too much until you’re numb.
Most of the time, your emotional wounds are so painful that it makes you feel nothing instead. You go through the day almost on autopilot, which makes you care less about your surroundings. You no longer feel happy or sad; you just exist, but you don’t feel alive.
Your numbness is actually your coping mechanism to survive your emotional wounds. Try to regulate your emotions, as it could also be a coping mechanism for lowering your psychological distress.
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7. You overthink everything.
Having emotional wounds makes you insecure about your life and most likely makes you overthink everything. You overthink because you don’t want to be hurt again. So, you feel it’s important to think and control everything around you.
However, instead of feeling better, your overthinking habit makes your emotional wounds even worse. Remember to ground yourself in reality and take a deep breath.
8. You have a chaotic sleep schedule.
Because of the overthinking surrounding your emotional wounds, it's hard for you to fall asleep at night. Your mind is full of thoughts and the nighttime is usually when you feel desperate, lonely, and depressed.
Your sleep schedule will change as you begin to heal, but it’s still hard for you to sleep at night and overcompensate during the day.
9. You feel clueless and stuck.
Emotional wounds make you feel confused and lost, as if you will never find the right path forward. You feel like you have nowhere to go and nobody can really heal you. You may even have negative self-talk inside of you, and your mind is tangled up all the time.
When this happens, try to control your confusion and untangle your thoughts by writing in a journal, and remember to take it one day at a time. Becoming "unstuck" takes time, but it's worth it.
10. You realize that you need to be healed.
Although it’s hard for you to explain it to other people, you just feel like you are broken inside and know exactly what you need to be healed. You look for many distractions to get over your emotional wounds and, as time goes by, you realize that they won’t be healed in one night.
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Having emotional wounds is okay as long as you acknowledge and admit it. Find cathartic activities such as writing, playing music, meditating, and playing sports. In the end, no matter how painful your wounds are, you will heal and get over them.
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Rayi Noormega is a writer whose bylines have been featured on Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, Magdalene, The Huffington Post, The Jakarta Post, among many others.
This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.