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You both deserve more.
By Angelo Caerlang — Written on Jan 30, 2023
Being in a relationship is fun, especially in the beginning.
You're dating the cutest guy you've ever seen (you can't believe he's going out with you), and it feels like everything is shiny and new, even the things you used to hate.
He's funny and smart, and you really think you could love him.
But then reality sets in. He starts blowing you off to hang out with his friends, he's not as nice and funny as he was in the beginning, and you're starting to think that this might not be your forever person.
Here are 10 undeniable hints you should leave him, the sooner, the better.
1. You don’t see a future with him
What he wants for his future and what you want for yourself are not the same. Both of you are growing and want to go in different directions.
He is sweetly persuading you to compromise your goals to align with him, but you can feel in your bones that it’s not the right thing to do. And you know better not to prioritize someone’s dreams over yours.
2. You feel alone in your relationship
You feel trapped whenever you’re beside him. It’s like you don’t know who you are anymore because he keeps asking you to change for him. A lot of times, you don’t feel understood, appreciated, or accepted. Every time you stare in his direction when he’s not looking, you don’t get a sense of romantic excitement anymore.
3. You’ve been crying lately because of him
He’s the reason why you can’t sleep soundly at night, why your mind is consumed with so many doubts, and why you’re stressed out for most of the day.
You try to open up to him and be honest about your emotions, but he accuses you of being too dramatic. He tells you to ‘just relax’ and avoid making small issues a big deal. He doesn’t care about the fact that you’re so crushed and broken on the inside.
4. You argue with each other often
A lot of times, you get irritated with each other. You point fingers at one another when something goes wrong in your relationship. Nobody wants to apologize anymore. Nobody likes to lose in an argument. His pride is bigger than his love for you. And he’s no longer afraid to lash out painful words in front of you.
5. You easily become suspicious
You don’t really want to be paranoid, but you’re kind of getting a vibe that there’s something he’s hiding from you. You can sense that he’s beginning to be careful when he’s talking to you.
He spends more time on his phone every time you’re together, and you’re surprised when you’ve found out that he changed his phone password. You confront him about it, but he keeps on dodging the bullet.
6. You miss being single
Suddenly, you crave freedom and you miss being on your own. You wonder if staying single is better than sharing your world with someone else. You recall the moments when you had so much time for yourself, when you could do everything that you desired without asking for permission, and when you were allowed to mingle with everyone.
You miss the part of your life when you weren’t committed to a relationship, and somehow you’re hoping to have it back.
7. You are beginning to notice a stagnancy in your conversations with him
You don’t talk about important things with each other anymore. You have this sinking feeling that he’s becoming a stranger to you. He yawns when you’re in the middle of telling him about your week. And sometimes, you notice his lack of interest in your opinions about a certain topic that means so much to you.
8. You caught him looking at a picture of his ex
You try to convince yourself that maybe he just accidentally opened a photograph of his ex. But you wonder why his expression was soft while he was staring at it. You have an inkling that maybe he still has feelings for her. Maybe he’s not really that into you. And maybe it’s time for you to end your connection with him.
9. Your friends don’t like him
You’re not the type who follows everything that your friends suggest to you, but when you have proven that most of their negative observations about the guy you’re dating are true – you start to consider their advice. Sometimes people who are close to you know what’s ultimately best for you. And there’s no harm in listening and acknowledging their thoughts and opinions sometimes.
10. You are not excited to see him anymore
Your heart doesn’t beat faster when you see him approaching you. His smile doesn’t bring butterflies to your stomach. And no romantic gesture of his can change the fact that you’re not in love with him anymore. Your special feelings for him have faded and he’s no longer the reason for your happiness.
Breaking up with him is going to hurt, but being honest about your emotions is going to save both of you from experiencing more pain.
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Angelo Caerlang is a freelance writer with regular contributions to Thought Catalog. He is the author of Sparks In Broken Lights.
This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.