Photo: Getty
Say it loud: I'm big and I'm proud!
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Last updated on Oct 07, 2020
I think we can all agree that sex is awesome, right? Be it a casual encounter with a near stranger or the intimate connection that comes from having sex with your long-term romantic partner, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm.
One of the keys to having the best orgasms ever is trying sex positions that make you feel completely comfortable in your own skin.
That's not always easy, especially when you happen to be a big girl, i.e. a woman who is exceptionally tall or who is heavier than her boyfriend.
It really doesn't matter if you're taller than your partner or fatter than your partner — that's something we all should know to be true. However, feeling that truth way down deep inside of us, especially when it comes to having sex, isn't always as easy as it is to simply tell yourself those words.
I'm here to tell you that your height and your weight should have no bearing on your ability to have the best sex possible. So if you're a woman who is taller or fatter than your boyfriend or husband, try one of these most excellent tested-and-approved-by-me sex positions.
5 Best Sex Positions for Big Girls
1. The Butterfly
Sometimes being a stunningly tall woman can mean legs that go on for days. Get down with your bad self, girl! But when you're tall, your legs can sometimes get in the way during sex, especially if you are having sex with someone who is a bit shorter than you are.
The Butterfly is a pretty name for a sex position that's all about using those legs to your advantage.
To give it a go, lay on your back with your hips at the edge of your bed. Then, put your legs over his shoulders. He will be able to use your legs for leverage and torque, and you'll both have orgasms that are to die for. Pinkie promise!
2. The Spread
Imagine the cowgirl sex position... but if you had no knees.
Now, admittedly that sounds less than, shall we say, ideal and/or comfortable, but lemme explain exactly what I mean.
As a naturally tall woman, you've probably got naturally long legs, you stunning gamine, you! When you assume the position (in this case, the cowgirl position), rather than bending your knees behind you, try seeing how wide you can spread your legs on either side of his torso. The wider you can pull your legs apart, the deeper the penetration will be, and deeper penetration means better, more satisfying sex (in my humble opinion, anyway).
Just be careful not to pull a muscle in the process...
3. Modified Missionary Position
If you're a bigger girl (or a fat woman, which is how I prefer to self-identify), you can have sex that is absolutely mind blowing, pounds be damned!
As a fat woman, I know that sometimes you can feel uncomfortable about how you look during sex, but trust me when I say this to you: if a man has got you naked and in a bed, he's not examining you for flaws, he's in awe and he's ready to have a great time.
While the missionary position might seem boring, if you modify it by tucking a pillow beneath your hips you'll be surprised at how it can ratchet up the friction and take your sex life to a whole new level.
When you're fat and having sex, pillows are your friend. There is no sex position you can't tackle with a solid pillow nearby to grab as a prop for making adjustments when needed. It's like those damn cubes they have in yoga. Use them! They help!
4. Doggy Style
I hate the name doggy style for a myriad of reasons, but primarily because it conjures images of the ways dogs actually have sex, and let's be real — that noise is not cute in the least. However, the actual sex position itself is the bomb-dot-com regardless of your size, and if you happen to be a big girl, the doggie style position is ideal.
If you're shy about your belly, you don't have to even remotely worry about it! You can have your orgasm without spending a single moment worrying about whether or not he can see your cute tummy jiggling. What's better than that?!
Well, I mean, besides diamonds and the ability to orgasm every time you sneeze, but I it was a rhetorical question anyway.
5. Modified Cowgirl
For a fat woman who is nervous about how her belly will be perceived by a sexual partner, there is nothing more alarming than the idea of getting on top of your man and giving him a prime view of your stomach. Which is a pity, because I worry that many fat women are missing out many great orgasms by ditching this position.
If you want to have an intense orgasm and feel beautiful while having it, get on top of his penis, lean back and grab hold of his ankles. Not only does this shift the angle of your clitoris so it is more in line with his shaft, but it will also make your already amazing body look even more spectacular!
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She's the Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime.