Why Happy People Cheat

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why happy people cheat

One of the most surprising statistics I’ve ever heard is that half of all cheating men, and around a third of all cheating women, consider their main relationship to be totally happy. The common idea behind a lot of infidelity advice is that happy people don’t cheat and that you might somehow be at fault for not being good enough to them.

What makes this worse is that many cheaters will actually use that idea as a justification, even though they actually were fine in the relationship. Many, though, are upfront and tell their partners that the cheating is not their fault.

If you’re in this position, you’re probably wondering why happy people cheat and if there was anything you could have done to prevent this. Believe it or not, there are several reasons why this happens, and no, it has nothing to do with you. Here’s the scoop.

1. Most people are happy but cheat because they’re bored.

I get it. It’s hard being with one person for the rest of your life. Occasionally, you might want a new “flavor” in there once in a while, just to spice things up. It’s understandable, but not condonable. If you’re bored and in a rut, it’d have been better to talk to your partner than to do this.

RELATED: 5 Excuses People Give For Cheating (That Are TOTAL Lies)

2. They may have been getting weirded out by life changes and were unable to cope.

A lot of studies show that men and women are more likely to cheat when they reach a “9” age, like 29 or 39, because it’s a landmark age. Men and women are also more likely to cheat when a partner is pregnant or in the beginning stages of parenthood.

Psychologically speaking, they may be happy with you, but their cheating could be a kneejerk reaction to them wanting to run away from the changes that life gave them.

3. Some actually may do so because they want to explore sexual fetishes that they may not want to do with their partner.

There are a lot of things that people might do with a casual hookup, but not their spouse. Many psychologists believe that extreme kinks tend to reveal themselves the longer that someone is with a partner.

Since many people can’t imagine themselves “disrespecting” their partner that way, they may go outside of the relationship to get that need met.

4. The opportunity may have just come up and they felt it was a safe bet.

A higher opportunity for infidelity often leads to higher rates of cheating. This is doubly true if they don’t believe they’ll get caught. As bad as it is to say, this is the plain and God’s honest truth with some guys and girls.

5. For some, they may be wondering if they've “still got it.

It’s 100 percent possible to be in a happy relationship but wonder if you are actually still sexy to others. Many, many affairs started because they wanted to get an ego boost by doing so.

6. In certain circles, cheating on your spouse is a lifestyle thing.

We’ve all heard about stockbrokers who have a trophy wife and a mistres– and how they might even talk about their affairs with their wives or friends. I can assure you that this is a real thing, and that, while it’s not necessarily an open relationship because it’s actually cheating and unilateral in decision, these people often do expect their partners to cope with it.

7. Some feel like a “once-in-a-while fling” is what they deserve after working so hard to support their spouse and family.

This is actually one of the most common justifications for men who seek the use of escorts while married. They view affairs as a reward that keeps them feeling happy while doing all the things they do for the family.

In certain cases, this can make a man a more attentive spouse, but that doesn’t mean you should tolerate it if it’s upsetting to you.

8. Others just get off on the thrill.

Affairs are thrilling because there’s this idea that you’ll possibly get caught. And for some, that call for a thrill is totally undeniable and hard to resist. It’s a kink for some and unfortunately, that can make them incompatible with relationships.

9. Many tend to feel like they can’t openly communicate with their partners about certain needs, so they end up telling someone else.

This tends to go hand-in-hand with the desire to do crazier kink than what they feel is the norm, but not always. If your partner feels like they have to be this invincible person without any weird quirks, they may be happy being with you but they may turn to someone else because they don’t want you to see them in a bad light.

RELATED: Yes, An Affair Can SAVE Your Marriage (From An Expert Who Knows)

10. There’s also a cheating gene that can make someone more likely to cheat.

Science has shown that there is a legitimate gene that can make someone more prone to cheating on a partner. I’m not saying that this is an excuse, but it can explain why happy people cheat and why someone may end up being a serial cheater despite being in a happy relationship.

11. Lastly, some people just cheat because they can.

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At times, there’s no real explanation as to why a guy might cheat. They just do. But that doesn’t mean you should accept it and stay with them. After all, it doesn’t take that much control to keep it in your pants.