Love, Sex

5 Things You Need To Know About Dating A Baby Daddy

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baby daddy

I never saw myself dating a man with kids until I met my boyfriend Rob over a year ago. 

If anything, I avoided dating men with children. I even set up a filter when I was online dating! Why deal with a baby daddy when I barely felt like a grown up myself?

However, fate (and my sex organs) had other plans when it came to dating and my love life, and so I fell for a man with a teenage son. 

It was absolutely nothing like I expected it to be. My notions about what dating a baby daddy were like weren't just sort of skewed, they were totally wrong. 

Dating a baby daddy is intensely rewarding and in many ways, it can help you figure out whether you want to form a long-term relationship with the man in question long before you might have otherwise. 

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There are 5 things you need to know about dating a baby daddy. These 5 items only just scratch the surface, but I think they're the most important for any woman dating a man with kids to know. 

1. You will never be number one. 

And you shouldn't want to be! 

From the moment a child is born until they are 18 (and let's be real, usually a heck of a lot longer) that kid is going to be living with his dad at least part of the time. 

Even if he isn't a helicopter dad, his child is going to come first, and he should! If you're spending the night and his 5-year-old is crying, he is going to trust that you can entertain yourself while he deals with the crying child. 

Frankly, a dad's ability to put his kids first overall without making you feel neglected is a great indicator into just what sort of man and father they really are. 

2. He's got baggage. 

But hey, so do you! 

When a man has a kid (or more than one kid) he's got a life and story and not all of it is going to be great, good, or easy. 

This emotional baggage might make him slower to commit, or even overly eager to commit. 

A man with a child has been through a chunk of this wacky ride we call life. Right or wrong, these dudes have a sense of what they want. 

This isn't for everyone, especially not women who are still figuring out what they want in a romantic partner. 

3. If you're the jealous type, beware. 

What do baby daddies always have? Baby mamas. 

Your dude might have a great relationship with the mother of his kid, maybe they are the best of friends! Maybe they hate each other, but you're convinced it's just a cover for their deeper romantic feelings.

The fact of the matter is when your man has a close bond with another woman who happens to be the mother of his child, she isn't going anywhere. 

If you're a jealous person, this might not be for you. Then again, it might be the perfect opportunity to try and vanquish your jealous streak once and for all. 

4. Prepare to be flexible. 

And I'm not just talking in the sack. 

When you're dating a guy with a kid, you've got more to juggle than his schedule and yours — you've got his child's schedule, too. 

Be open, honest, and flexible about your time if you want to get to know him better. 

Trust that he isn't playing games with you when he cancels at the last minute; he has bigger things to deal with than messing with your head. 

Are all dads with kids upstanding gentleman worthy of your time? No, but I think it's important to remember not to write them off for something that's beyond their control, like a kid coming down with a 24 hour tummy and/or butt bug. 

5. His kid existing doesn't mean he wants to have one with you. 

For serious. 

I have friends in their 30s who start dating men with kids because they think this is a guarantee that he will have kids with them.

This is kind of nuts to me.

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Just because a person has procreated once with someone else, why on Earth would that mean that they would automatically do so with you?

A man's status as a father doesn't mean he wants to have more kids. In fact, for some men, it might actually mean that since they are already a dad, they are done with the whole sperm-in-egg thing. 

If you want to know if he plans on having more kids — ask, don't assume.