We Asked Guys What WEIRD Things Turn Them On — And, Man, They Are WEIRD
Yep. He just said that.
WeHeartIt Do you ever wonder what men think?
I feel like I spend way, way, way too much energy every day just trying to figure out what the male of the species is thinking about. When you're into a man and you've just started "talking" (that perilous and barf-inducing period right before you DTR (define the relationship) and establish yourself as a boyfriend and girlfriend in a relationship, is it even possible NOT to wonder what men think?
I'd argue no, no it is not possible.
When you're just getting to know a man and you know that you're interested in him and super attracted to him, he can seem like this perfect other-worldly creature, free of flaws and blessed with special magical sex abilities.
But the truth is hardly that. The truth is that men are people, and, just like the rest of us, they are far from perfect, even (especially) when it comes to sex stuff.
You might be terrified about sharing your secret perversions, kinks, and turn-ons with your new boyfriend, but the truth is he's probably got his own weird turn-ons that he's scared of admitting to you for fear you will send the village out after him with torches and pitchforks. Men, they're just like us: there are strange things that turn men on.
To prove that point, I asked dozens of men (their identities kept anonymous for obvious reasons) what their weirdest turn-ons are, and you'll be surprised by the strange things that turn men on.
Okay, hit me my dudes: What is the weirdest thing that turns you on?
- "Girls crying. I don't know why, it's not that I would ever TRY to make a girl cry, but when my girlfriend cries I feel a sense of power because she is being vulnerable with me and trusts me."
- " I like women eating sausage rolls with lots of ketchup on them. Lots and lots of ketchup."
- "A nice crisp stick of celery."
- "To activate my sex drive before I bone out my partner so good, I grab my own ass. The feeling of my own hands supporting my gorgeous cheeks turns me on. I throw my head back and howl at the sky, "You want a piece of me God, you bring it!" I then turn and face my partner who should now be wearing a Toronto Raptors mascot costume. At this point, I am ready to begin penetrating my partner." [Edit: I do not believe this response is sincere, but I included it because it is goddamn comic gold.]
- "Lesbian incest erotica and porn. Not the reality, but the fantasy, is very hot."
- "Flannel. One time she answered the door in her fuzzy robe and at the sight of her I was ready to go for it right there in the apartment hallway."
- "Ladybugs."
"Laugh. I can melt for a girl just because her laugh is awesome."
"Left-handed girls. Sexy sinister vixens."
Advertisement"Girls wearing strap-on dildos."
"Mine isn't a weird turn on for the fact that it turns me on, but more because of how damned effective it is at doing so. I fucking love having the back of my neck tickled and scratched, like a dog, right where my hairline begins. This both makes me wildly turned on (as well as scratching/back tickling) but also has the effect of making me temporarily paralyzed. Thoughts cease, words fail me, and I am just lost in the feeling of fingernails very gently scratching against my skin. My ex used to do it whenever she wanted me to shut up, and I didn't realize it worked 100% of the time until she actually explained it to me."
"Noses, like a larger nose. For some reason, I love girls with a distinct or larger nose. It's kind of a huge turn on..."
"Pointy canines."
"Women that are pregnant. I know it's weird, but it just seems to be the apex of sexuality."
"Spaghetti strap tank tops. Like the ones usually worn under other shirts; not anything fancy. Just a solid white or black fitted tank top on my lady."
"Girls with big thighs and freckles over their breasts. Oh, and redheads..."
"When a girl notices my man bulge, it's a turn on to know she noticed."
"Girls with ears that stick out a little."
"Girls that drive shitty cars. Somehow they are always hot and I want to hear the story... then fuck them."
Advertisement"Girls wearing men's business suits, braces, and smoking cigars. And heels."
"Department stores. I have no idea why but sometimes being in a Target gives me a raging hard-on. Literally I have no idea why that is."
- "Pretty feet, shaved pits, and bikini area."
- "Pegging, sex with trans women, bisexual group sex."
- "Licking inside my ear."
- "The thought of being bitten really hard; the curve of a woman's clavicle; being controlled."
- "Clandestine consensual encounters with strangers."