12 Subtle Signs You've Been Downgraded From MAIN Chick To SIDE Chick

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signs you're the side chick

Did he drop your status without telling you?

Once upon a time, I knew a girl by the name of Tara. Tara had a boyfriend by the name of Nick. For all intents and purposes, everyone legitimately thought that Nick was going to go all the way with her. Tara seemed to think so, too.

But then, something changed. Tara, for lack of a better word, started to disappear from our outings with Nick. Then, slowly, we started to notice that Nick was hiding his taken status. Then, most of us dropped Nick because we caught him trying to slip a bartender a number knowing that he had a girlfriend. Eventually, Nick dumped Tara for the girl he cheated on her with.

It was clear what happened, at least to us. He had downgraded Tara to a side chick and was looking for a main chick again. To a point, we thought Tara knew. None of us were surprised, but Tara sure was. Looking back, we probably should have told her what was up.

Here are some signs you're the side chick and you or someone you know might have Tara’s problem.

1. He seems colder to you.

Is his overall demeanor one where he no longer seems to be as interested as he once was? If you notice an overall “chilly” vibe from him, chances are that he may be checked out of the relationship. Guys who have downgraded their girls often will seem slightly more disinterested and may also be less interested in actually keeping you happy.

2. You’re no longer his top priority.

If he’s looking to downgrade you or dump you, he’ll stop making you his number one priority. Rather than just be around when you need him, he’ll start to tell you that he needs more “friends” time or that he’s just “busy.” The less effort he’s putting in, the more likely it is that he’s downgraded you.

3. You begin to feel the need to work twice as hard to keep him around.

This is just one of the common signs you're the side chick. If you regularly feel like you have to up your game just to keep him, chances are high that he’s either checked out, cheating, or planning to leave.

4. You start to notice that you’re disappearing from his social media.

Is he now all of a sudden super-low key about your relationship with him? Is he just “in a relationship,” but it no longer says your name? Sorry honey, but this is a sign that he’s really trying to hide the fact that he’s taken from someone. It’s also a very strong sign that he’s trying to gear up for a more or less drama-free breakup.

5. His friends haven’t seen you in a while and you guys used to hang out all the time.

When a guy is cheating on his girlfriend or preparing to cheat, he will often try to separate his girls from his friends as a way of reducing social damage and drama. This is also a tactic that guys use when they are worried that their friends could want to warn the girl about his actions.

6. You stopped seeing his parents.

When a guy is serious about his girl, he’ll introduce her to his parents and his friends and flaunt them. When he’s decided that she is no longer “main chick” material, all those people will slowly fade out.

7. You’ve caught him on Tinder, OKCupid, or any other matching app.

No, he wasn’t there looking for new friends. You know what he was there for. Stop deluding yourself. At best, he’s cheating. At worst, he’s looking for a new main chick.

8. Other girls have called you a homewrecker.

Warning sign? More like “RED ALERT.” If you’re noticing that people are starting to act like you’re doing something terrible when you mention dating him, there’s a problem. The problem is that they know he’s dating someone else and that you are now the other woman.

9. He brushes aside your complaints like it’s nothing, but gets defensive if you try to check his phone or email.

This is often a sign that he’s trying to chat up another woman because he’s ready to switch relationships. Or, it’s a sign that he’s cheating. Either way, it’s not a good sign for your situation.

10. He stopped sharing his day to day details with you. 

You can often tell how close you are with your partner by how much they share with you. If he used to talk your ear off when it came to everything he's done, but now he's starting to keep his lips sealed, it could be a sign that he's gabbing to someone else. 

11. He’s been bailing on plans more and more often.

If he bails on you regularly, the writing is one the wall. The fact is that a guy who bails on plans with you doesn’t deserve you and isn’t even empathetic enough to actually maintain appearances about it.