What It Means When A Guy Says He Likes You But Doesn't Make An Effort

What to do when a guy doesn't make an effort.

woman looking disappointed with guy who isn't making an effort Jacob Lund / Shutterstock

When a guy doesn't make an effort, he doesn't like you. Time to face the facts.

Too often, we complicate how to figure out if someone likes us or not. We analyze texts with our friends, stalk our crush's social media, and Google our questions to death to find answers in articles such as this one.

Trying to find hard evidence that the dude we’re into is just as into us is more difficult than it would be to just cut our losses and wait for a relationship with a guy who’s more clear.


Why do guys say they like you but not make an effort?

While there are always exceptions, when a guy doesn't make an effort, it's because he's not interested.

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Like most things in life, I don’t think you should have to try that hard to find love. If you’re working extra hard to make something happen, then it’s probably not going to happen.


Relationships aren’t born out of forced interaction and playing games — mind games, that is. Falling in love is usually a lot simpler than it seems.

You don’t have to conduct some grand experiment to see if a guy likes you. All you have to do is pay attention to his actions. If a guy is interested in getting to know you, then he’s going to try to get to know you. He’ll ask you questions, make an effort to keep up the conversation, and remember what you told him.

And more importantly, he’ll make an effort to hang out in real life.

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There won’t be canceled plans or last-minute bails if he’s into you. He’ll set up a time and day and follow through. He won’t waste your time because he actually respects it.


So if you’re losing sleep trying to figure out why this guy acts like he like you when he sees you out at the bar on the weekends, but never texts you during the week, let me help you: he doesn’t.

Let’s just say if he’s doing anything that makes you question the fact that he doesn’t like you, then he doesn’t like you.

And if that’s the case, let it go. Don’t hold on or spend too much time questioning why.

Cut your losses and wait around for someone who’s willing to put in the time and effort you deserve.

When he’s not making an effort, just gives up. He doesn’t owe you anything because he never asked you out, so why are you obsessing?


Some people want to know why guys stop making an effort when they never really made an effort in the first place.

A relationship is a give-and-take, and a guy who is interested will do both of those things.

You’re not making all the effort if there’s no chance of a relationship, sorry.


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Emily Blackwood is a writer who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between.