7 Signs He Doesn't Really Love You, Based On The Sex Alone

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couple kissing in bed

The question you probably want answered the most in the beginning stages of a new relationship is: is he falling in love with me, or is it just about sex? While there are several ways to figure out if he loves you or not, we’re going to fill you in on signs he loves you in bed to pay attention to that can help you figure out where you stand.

Are you "the one" — or are you just someone to him?

You know if you're good in bed if a guy tells you, and you know a man is in love with you if he goes out of his way to make you feel appreciated — inside and outside the bedroom.

Here are 3 signs he loves you in bed, but not outside of it.

RELATED: Does He Like Me? 46 Signs A Guy Is Into You

1. He doesn't respond to your text messages — unless it's to arrange a time to meet up and make love. 

If he makes you feel beautiful in the bedroom — and nowhere else — that's a good chance he loves you in bed. 

If a man wants an emotional connection with you, he should be paying attention to you.

If he sends you text messages asking you about your day, it could be one of the signs he loves you deeply. However, if he just hits you up at 1 AM to ask "you up?" it's a sign he enjoys sleeping with you, but not hanging out.

A man who makes an effort to get to know the real you is one of the true signs he loves you. But hitting you up for a free video of your body? That's a good sign of a man who loves you in bed.

2. He only talks about how much he appreciates you in the context of sex and making love. 

If he genuinely feels that you are the one, he goes out of his way to spend time with you and make you feel comfortable.

Guys don’t put in any effort if they don’t want to. If he only tells you about his sexual fantasies, it’s not one of the signs he loves you secretly.

Just telling you how hot you are is one of the signs he loves you when making love or one of the signs a guy is really turned on by you.

3. He kisses you without emotional feeling.

Another trick for how to tell he loves you is by his kiss. You can tell by the way he kisses you if he’s in it for the long run.

If he only kisses you in the bedroom — and not in public — it could be one of the telltale signs he loves you when making love but not one of the signs he feels like your hero.

If he kisses you for a long time, he loves you in bed and in real life.

RELATED: If He Does These 7 Things, He Likes You Way More Than You Think

And here are 7 signs he doesn't really love you, based on the sex alone.

1. He’s a selfish lover.

He doesn’t give you as much time or pleasure as he gives himself. Sex is about him being satisfied; so he doesn’t focus on your needs as much as you want him to.

If he doesn’t make the effort to give you equal pleasure, it means he doesn’t care enough to bother.

2. He doesn’t engage in post-sex affection.

If a guy really loves you he’ll want to keep you close. If he seems emotionally distant or doesn’t ever really cuddle with you after sex, he’s not as into you as you think.

Remember, the sexual experience includes pre-sex and post-sex, not just when you’re doing the do.

3. He objectifies you in bed when you don’t want him to.

There are some people out there who like to be dominated and objectified in bed. This is usually because it’s totally opposite to how they operate in real life. (Hey, we all have our fetishes!)

But if you get the sense that he’s treating you like a generic person and not a unique, special woman, that’s a sign he doesn't really love you. Even when you engage in BDSM and identify as a Dominant, you should feel some sort of mutual agreement as to when this type of treatment is and is not acceptable to you.

4. He doesn’t whisper sweet nothings.

A guy who truly loves you will talk to you during sex. He’ll tell you how much he loves you and show his emotional side just as much as his physical side.

If your guy doesn’t do any of that and exclusively does dirty talk, keep an eye out.

5. He keeps trying to push your boundaries (in a disrespectful way).

A man who loves you will accept the phrases, "Not yet" or "Not right now."

If your guy keeps pushing you outside of your comfort zone and doesn’t let up about it, it demonstrates his lack of care and respect for you. He just wants what he wants, end of story.

6. You don't feel emotionally satisfied by him.

A lot of people mistake physical satisfaction with emotional satisfaction. It’s a natural mistake to make, but sooner or later you have to pick up on the difference between the two.

The sex may be amazing, but if you realize that your relationship consists more of physical attraction than emotional care and understanding, it’s not worth your time.

7. There’s no progress.

Couples in love naturally progress and evolve with each other over time, both sexually and emotionally. If you’ve been with the same person for a little while now and you feel like the sex has reached its height and you’ve become emotionally stagnant, it’s a sign that your relationship isn’t as great as you thought it was.

Couples that are meant to be together always find new things to love about each other, even though they may experience ruts from time to time.

RELATED: 15 Signs He Just Wants Sex (And Nothing Else)

Taylor Markarian graduated from Emerson College with a B.A. in writing, literature and publishing. Check out her LinkedIn and her website.