The Most Popular Sex Position In Missouri Would Kill Most Of Us

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The Most Popular Sex Positions By State

Right now we are living in a divided nation, led by a borderline sentient sun-withered sweet potato. 

Verily, these are dark times.

It is only natural then, that we as a people would try and find one thing or another that could possibly unite us all. 

For America, it turns out, the one unifying factor? Just how buck-wild we get in the bedroom when it comes to sex. 

A recent list of the most popular sex positions in the country by state brought a smile to both my heart and vagina because when I'm feeling down, some talk about sex positions is almost always guaranteed to bring a smile to my face. 

You can read the whole list of sex positions here (and you should) but I thought I would share with you the 5 biggest revelations I had while reading up on how America gets down with its bad self. 

Happy reading and happy sex having! 

1. Doggy style is king 


Doggy style is the most searched position nationwide! It is also the top search result of 18 different states altogether. 

Nothing about this is surprising to me, but it is a delight to know that men and women all across the amber waves of grain have realized that for additional thrust, a little bit of naughty hair pulling and some G-Spot access, there is no sex position that gets it done better than doggy style. 

2. Indiana is ridiculous 


According to this study, Indiana is the only state in the Union to rank the 69 sex position as their absolute favorite.

Between this, the fact that the WORST dude I've ever dated comes from Indiana, and the existence of Mike Pence, I'm gonna say that Indiana needs to get its act together. There are many awesome sex positions. 69 is absolutely not one of them. 

Related: How To Get It On Like A Total Pro (According To Total Pros)

3. Massachusetts loves pussy 


Let us give it up for Massachusetts, who, alongside their good frenemy, prefer face-sitting more than anything else.

I love the northeast for a lot of reasons, but their zeal for eating out a vagina when it is placed right on their face endears it to me now more than ever. 

4. Women on top 


While women on top during sex didn't come in number one overall, it did come in at number one in 29 different states! 

Right now it's hard to be a woman. We feel like our bodies are being policed by our government, that we have no say, that we'll never get equal pay. 

But at least our country acknowledges that it just works better with a woman riding on top. 

5. Missouri is kinkier than you think 


Missouri's favorite sex position was obscure enough THAT I HAD TO LOOK IT UP. 

You guys. I write about sex for a living and I was like "what in the garden of earthly delights does this mean?!" 

That is amazing.

For the record, the position in question is the "crisscross". 

Just Google it.