Photo: weheartit
"I'll always have a lady boner for Marty McFly."
By Elizabeth Z Pardue — Written on Apr 03, 2017
After the novelty of touching yourself wears off and you’ve weeded out what you don’t like and what you do, you tend to carve out your own routine for flicking the bean. While getting our own rocks off is never a chore, sometimes we want the extra indulgence of visual aide to heighten the mood.
General sexual preferences aside, a lot of us have a treasured cache of personal favorites we’ve enjoyed repeatedly throughout the years. We asked women to share their Spank Bank Greatest Hits with us and here are 50 of our favorites from women who masturbate.
1. "I’m a 90’s girl. Taye Diggs and Angela Bassett in the shower is my #1 go-to for life."
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2. "I prefer to read erotica and let my mind paint a picture. I’ve had well-worn 'Letters to Penthouse; volumes by my bed for years now, but I can’t do the cheesy romance stuff."
3. "Brody Dalle all day. When she and Shirley Manson team up on things, I don’t have enough hands."
4. "Pelle Almqvist in The Hives’ 'Hate to Say I Told You So' video. I could write a dissertation about the power of that guy, but that first video had me shook."
5. "I always fantasize about my single days and the crazy-ass, no-holds-barred one-night stands I had. Does that sound sad? I love my husband, but you know... single sex had its perks."
6. "Young Justin Trudeau is immediately a classic. Obviously."
7. "Alright, I like the 50 Shades of Grey scenes, but I plug myself and random guys I’m crushing on into the scenes instead of Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan... well, sometimes I keep him."
8. "Colin Farrell’s sex tape. Shout out to Broad City for the recommendation."
9. "Oh, gay porn is so hot. I like the scenes that are done at night clubs that start with two sweaty ripped dudes making out in just jeans."
10. "Say what you will about Magic Mike, but I like Channing better in Step Up.”
11. "I think about what I’d like my co-worker to do to me. This has gone on for almost three years now. At this point, I’m scared to try anything because the sex can never measure up to what I’ve envisioned all this time."
12. "I really just like lesbians who are typical white girls with blonde hair. I don’t know why; I’m not white, blonde, or lesbian, but that’s what I’m always into. Dudes in porn creep me out."
13. "I write erotic fan fiction and that usually does it for me. I used to write about Firefly in high school, but now my material is mostly about Benedict Cumberbatch."
14. "Tatianna in her RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars 2 lip sync against Alyssa Edwards."
15. "I like to fantasize about being in a porno. When I watch a girl in a scene, I imagine that she’s me and I’m getting to do everything she’s doing. In fact, when I’m having sex with my husband, I always do better if I imagine there’s a camera crew there filming us."
16. "Wet Ryan Gosling. Just Google that."
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17. "I type 'MMF threesome' into RedTube and see what comes up. I love a good spit roast."
18. "Call me old-fashioned, but I really think about the hot things my husband and I have tried. We have some AVN-worthy vacation memories."
19. "D’Angelo’s 'Untitled' video still gets me."
20. "I’m pretty vanilla. Guy, girl, loving embraces, basic positions. I’m into it."
21. "I really like queer and female-driven porn. It used to be harder to find but these days it’s so accessible, which is a dream."
22. "I still think about my ex. He was an assh*le, but his body was bonkers."assh*le, but his body was bonkers."
23. "I’ve been masturbating on webcam for clients for a couple years now and, honestly, it’s pretty great. I don’t know if it’s knowing I’m getting paid to please myself or the power of it or what, but it’s a great aphrodisiac."
24. "Young women just don’t understand the power behind Burt Reynolds and that nude Cosmo spread."
25. "I like sexy voices in the right context. Like, I’ll masturbate to episodes of Archer because that character is hot and he has a sexy voice, but I won’t jerk off to Bob’s Burgers even though it’s still H. Jon Benjamin doing the acting."
26. "Jack Black wearing eyeliner and giving us serious vocals in Pick of Destiny."
27. "Have you seen Disney’s Robin Hood? I used to masturbate to that sexy fox character and sometimes I’ll pull it back out just for fun. In my fantasies I’m the fox Maid Marian, though; I’m not a human f*cking a cartoon fox! That’d be weird."
28. "I like to see women who obviously enjoy sex in porn. Stoya's my favorite to watch."
Wikimedia/Glenn Francis
29. "I have a friend who is a Dominatrix and does food-related domination on her subs and posts pics on her blog. I never thought that’d get me going, but it has."
30. "Old school Playboys. I’ve liked those since I found my stepdad’s when I was 9."
31. "Mila Kunis going down on Natalie Portman in Black Swan. You can’t even see anything, but they’re so gorgeous it doesn’t matter."
32. "Listen, I honestly recently got off fantasizing about my husband cleaning the house, making me dinner, and giving me a bath recently. Best orgasm I had in years."
33. "I fantasize and I focus on tactile sensations like having sex under the warm sun in an open field or on a fur rug in front of a fire. I guess I’m into scenery?!"
34. "I like watching athletes in their element, so games make me super horny if someone hot is playing. Jason Taylor was hot until he tried to dance. But I’ll still touch myself to a highlights reel!"
35. "Trent Lane from Daria! There! I said it!"
36. "Concert footage of really intense performances always put me in the mood. I like old stuff from the 60s and 70s as well as newer artists, too. An example? Go watch Prince playing the Super Bowl a few years ago in the actual purple rain."
37. "I have a pic on my phone from a Brony I f*cked a few years ago that I love to revisit. He’s wearing light cosplay... and nothing else."cosplay... and nothing else."
38. "Taron Egerton. Him playing Eddie Edwards only helped his case. And have you heard him sing? SPLOOSH."
39. "Gregory Peck. In anything. Particularly a suit."
40. "Ewan McGregor in eyeliner. Especially when he also wears a kilt."
41. "Daveed Daveed Diggs as LaFayette/Jefferson. Obviously. It did not help that they had Jimi Hendrix in mind while dressing him. He can take MY horse by the reins."
42. "Any live performance of Jimi Hendrix ever... Or interview... Or photograph... Or audio clip."
43. "Mike Patton in the video for 'Easy' by Faith No More. And really, his vocals on the Lovage album will get the job done, too."
44. "After I saw Gone with the Wind in my tween years, I created this fantasy where I was being rescued from my burning plantation by a Union soldier and I repaid him by banging him for a week in a secluded cabin. To this day, it’s still one of my favorite fantasies to entertain."
45. "That part in Bey’s “Video Phone” video where she shakes her boobs with her hands for a minute makes me lose my mind."
46. "Jim Halpert looking into the camera at any given moment."
47. "I have a thing for thigh-high stilettos. I remember seeing them on that one female alien in Superman II when I was a kid and I just always enjoyed videos with people wearing them. Honestly, both women and men who can work them are sexy to me. Luckily 'Boots Porn' is a thing."
48. "Pretty much any time an actor passionately grabs the kissee by the neck and goes in for a massive, sexual-tension-destroying kiss, I have to take a time-out for myself. It’s my kryptonite."
49. "Gary Oldman as Sid Vicious. Not only was he hot in Sid and Nancy, but he was actually playing the bass for it too!"
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50. "I'll always have a lady boner for Marty McFly."
