15 HILARIOUS Quotes From Comedian Ali Wong Will Have You ROFL

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This woman is freaking FUNNY, and she knows it.

I was only about 20 minutes into Ali Wong’s special on Netflix before I said to myself, “Okay, this woman is hilarious.”

Not only did she have me in TEARS laughing, but she was also 7 months pregnant at the time of the recording and still KILLING her stand up.


What’s so great about comedian Ali Wong is that she’s able to joke about pretty much anything, even if that makes her comedy a little tongue-in-cheek.

Pregnancy, sex, feminism — NOTHING is off limits to her.

But instead of making it sound like she doesn’t care about these topics or that she’s just joking about them to make her audience laugh, you can tell that she really does care about all these things — as well as making sure her stories and experiences are entertaining.

And if that’s not reason enough to love her, she’s been called the “Asian Beyoncé of stand up comedy”, which, of course, means she’s a total bad ass at what she does (just like Beyoncé). And SERIOUSLY funny.

In addition to her Netflix special, Baby Cobra, which I’ve watched twice now (seriously, check it out), Ali Wong also writes for the tv show Fresh Off the Boat — if you haven’t seen that either, you need to.

And now, she's even announced a soon-to-be-released collection of essays offering advice and sharing her many hilarious life stories.

Clearly, I’m a huge fan of Ali Wong, but it’s not hard to be after you experience her stand-up yourself.

More than that, though, she’s incredibly inspiring, showing those out there looking to follow in her footsteps or just make a name for themselves that you just need to believe in yourself and not give a f*ck what others are going to say or think.

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Read below for some of our fave hilarious Ali Wong quotes and check out her website for more info on her upcoming shows.

If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotes, inspirational sayings, and hilarious friendship truths, we've got you covered.

"If a man has a Pinterest page, he’s probably Pinterested in men." — Ali Wong

"I can tell that I’m getting older because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library." — Ali Wong

"DIY stands for "you should've married someone with more money."" — Ali Wong

"Yoga is Simon Says for adults who have lotsa free time." — Ali Wong

"If I ever do a nude scene, I want to be in shape just enough so nobody calls me "courageous" for doing it." — Ali Wong

"I’m all about girl power and everything, but when I get married, I’m straight up not gonna work anymore." — Ali Wong

"I wear the kind of bra where if you put it on the floor, the floor would have boobs." — Ali Wong

"You gotta make this dude believe that your body is a secret garden, when really it’s a public park." — Ali Wong

"My boyfriend eats gluten-free. Now I gotta eat all this bread that tastes like free-range Chewbacca." — Ali Wong

"You wanna be a grown-ass woman, stop dating skaters. They’re sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside." — Ali Wong

"Women love to be dominated in bed. We’re so in control all the time that we just want to experience some sort of risk. I don’t want to die, but I also don’t want to be sure that I’m going to live." — Ali Wong

"That’s when you know you’ve made it. When you’re eating mango that was sliced by a dude named Noah." — Ali Wong

"I wanna be able to take a stroll on a sidewalk, see a quarter, and just keep on walking." — Ali Wong

"Everybody has HPV, OK? E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y." — Ali Wong

"When you’re pregnant, you’re hungry, tired, and fat, so you have this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude that lends itself really well to performance. You let go of all dignity and shame, and it’s beautiful." — Ali Wong