Photo: weheartit
Forget herbal supplements.
By Jordan Gray — Written on Jan 23, 2017
Have you ever suffered from bouts of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation (especially when it mattered the most to you to perform well)? It’s completely normal. It’s also completely avoidable. And it can be so much better.
Want to make sex last longer and change your sex life from something that gives you anxiety into something that you confidently crave? Want to know that you can be up for the challenge whenever it presents itself? Want to know that you will forever be able to sexually provide for your partner?
No more having to rely on excuses like “Sorry, I guess I had too much to drink,” “I’m just not in the mood tonight,” or “I came that quickly because you just looked so damn sexy.” It’s time to strengthen your penis for better sex, get firmer erections, and have legendary lasting power between the sheets.
Before I get into the specific action steps that you can start using today to strengthen your penis for better sex, you might be wondering... is it even possible?
Absolutely, yes, it is possible to strengthen your penis.
Depending on your unique genetic makeup, your penis is made up of anywhere from 30 to 60 percent what is known as smooth muscle tissue. And just like other kinds of muscle tissue, it can grow (or shrink) depending on how you use it.
It’s never been easier to acquire over the counter quick-fixes for semi-occasional erectile dysfunction. But avoid the temptation. Not only will you not strengthen your penis naturally, these pills/herbs/supplements only make the problem worse on multiple levels.
Mentally, the products may make you feel confident for a brief period of time, but they’ll make you feel worse about yourself and your ability to perform in the long-term because you will have used a crutch. You won’t be building authentic confidence because the performance won’t have come from you but from the product.
On the physical level, pills and supplements have a tendency to make you so (sometimes painfully) hard that you actually lose temporary sensation in your penis to a large extent. So stay away!
I have had countless clients annihilate difficulties with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation with the exercises you’re about to read about in this article. I repeat: if you only suffer from intermittent erectile dysfunction, you do NOT need pills or supplements! Sharpen your own sword and you’ll grow confidence the natural way (by earning it!).
A lifetime of poor sexual conditioning has made your pelvic floor muscles (and therefore your erections) weaker than they could be, and your sexual awareness less than ideal. With a few simple shifts in your lifestyle, you can go from lackluster to lasting longer (and stronger) than ever before.
Here's what you need to do to strengthen your penis and make sex last longer in the process.
1. Remove stressors from your life.
A stressed lifestyle hits you right where it hurts. The raised cortisol levels in your body make your sex drive drop like a rock and it will be harder for you to be present when you are sleeping with your partner.
Remove any and all stressors that you have control over in your life. Do you really need to be working those extra hours of overtime? Are you sure you need to be loading up your body with coffee/energy drinks/caffeine? Are there any extra responsibilities that you can politely decline that are being thrown at you?
The more relaxed and balanced of a lifestyle you have, the better you will feel overall and the better you will perform sexually. Add some infrequent intense workouts in the mix and your body and mind will thank you for it.
2. Stop watching porn.
Imgur
Multiple studies have come out that document the fact that excessive (or even moderate) porn usage negatively affects your erectile strength and ability to become aroused with your significant other. So if you really want to strengthen your penis, cut out the porn, and over the course of the next few weeks, you will see your erectile strength increasing steadily.
3. Stop racing towards ejaculation.
Sometimes quickies are amazing, but if your method of operation is to masturbate and race to ejaculation as quickly as possible then you’re missing out on a lot of prime penis strengthening time.
If you make it over the five-minute hump then (as you will soon find out) it will be the fastest way to grow and strengthen your penis (and therefore erections) available to you.
4. Recognize anxious thoughts.
Listen to your internal dialogue as you start to get physical with your partner. Do your thoughts leap to “I hope I’ll perform well this time” or “Come on penis, get up!”? If they do, then this internal battle is not helping your little guy spring into action.
Remember, like a freight train that needs to gain momentum, it takes everyone some time to become physically ready to have sex. Have patience with yourself and focus on the sensations your body is feeling.
5. Name the elephant in the room.
If erectile dysfunction (even infrequent E.D.) has been a semi-consistent pattern for you, make sure that you let your partner in on it.
It may be awkward the first time you bring it up, but suffering in silence doesn’t help either one of you. In fact, many women will assume that it might be because you don’t find them attractive in that moment, so the quicker you can name the elephant in the room the better for both of you.
6. Realize that porn has misled you.
Reactiongifs
People are generally aware of the level of trickery that goes into major blockbuster Hollywood films, but what people often don’t know is that porn is just as fake. Having known several people who have worked in porn (on and off the camera) I can assure you that the seemingly stallion-like men that appear in porn don’t operate like that in real life. On a real porn set, the performers stop and start frequently and can even edit several weeks of filming into one scene.
So yes, it is entirely possible to last for hours on end. But the expectation that you should be able to have sex four hours straight without even temporary breaks throughout? Extremely unrealistic.
It’s completely natural to go partially soft during sex. Don’t think that because the guys in porn (seem like they) don’t take breaks that you shouldn’t be. So remember to let go of the performance mindset. It’s OK to go limp; it happens to everyone (and besides, your mouth and hands still work).
7. Do your Kegels.
Kegel exercises (flexing and holding the muscles that stop the flow of urine, often referred to as the PC/pubococcygeus/pelvic floor muscles) are a great way to begin reconnecting yourself with your genitals. We are so disconnected from our sexuality and our penises in our daily lives that even a few quick pulses can remind us that we are sexual beings.
While simple Kegel exercises won’t give you a six pack in your pants, they are a great first step. Try these out for a couple of weeks in increasing levels of difficulty (greater number of pulses, or longer holds) and you’ll be on your way to a stronger and firmer erection in no time.
8. Do power Kegels.
To take your Kegels up a notch, masturbate to arousal and drape dry hand towels over your penis and do modified pull ups. Once this gets easier, make the hand towels wet with water, and then graduate to small beach towels after that.
Do these exercises twice a week for separate sessions of ten minutes and you will noticeably strengthen your penis within a few weeks. And remember to take days off in between your Kegel sessions. Just like any other muscles in your body, the muscles of your pelvic floor actually strengthen in days of rest (not during the exercises themselves).
9. Masturbate without porn.
To begin your reconnection with your penis, masturbate without the use of porn. Porn is an external stimulus that takes your mind off of the physical sensations you are feeling and into the realm of being an observer.
By cutting out porn and being pushed to use your imagination (you know, like before porn existed at your fingertips) you will start to re-sensitize to your body and your sexual arousal arch. The more awareness you have of what your physical level of arousal is, the more control you will have over your erections and ejaculations with your partner.
10. Try the “9-5 technique.”
Tumblr
This is by far the best exercise to strengthen your penis while simultaneously upgrading your sexual stamina to master-level. This is self-love on steroids. Masturbate to arousal (without porn) and, on an internal scale of 1 to 10, through the quickening and slowing down of your manual stimulation you want to be rising and falling your sexual arousal between a 5 to a 9.
For simplicity’s sake let’s say that a 5 is where you are still quite erect but your mind has calmed down quite a bit, and a 9 is nearing the point of no return but staying a safe distance away from it so you can ease back down to a 5. You want to do this rising and falling pattern between 9 and 5 for sessions of greater than 20 minutes.
It might sound like a lot, but I promise that once you make it past the five-minute mark it gets considerably easier. Have patience with yourself, and realize that with each round of 9-5 that you do, you become more aware of your sexual arousal arch, your penis gets stronger, and you gain more control over your ejaculatory response.
11. Practice deep breathing.
If you ever need to speed up your ejaculation, tense as many of your major muscle groups as possible and hold your breath. If you ever want to slow down and elongate your sexual session, relax your muscles and breathe deeply into your belly.
Deep breathing is one of the fastest ways to gain more control over your increasing sexual arousal. Consciously check in with your body, breathe deeply into your belly, and relax your muscles while focusing all of your energy on the sensations that your body is feeling.
Your penis is like a barometer for how confident you feel in your life. If your sexual essence is soft and limp, then so is your drive in other areas of your life.
While the strength and stamina of your penis are far from the only things that help you to be the best lover possible, it’s a good place to start for your sexual confidence. Put in the work, strengthen your penis naturally by trying out a few of the exercises, and your partner will thank you.
.......
Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com.
This article was originally published at Jordan Gray Consulting. Reprinted with permission from the author.