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And you thought the two of you were getting closer.
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Jan 06, 2017
It doesn’t matter if you were ghosted, benched, or just plain dumped — something happened that made the guy you’ve been seeing back out of your life. The thing that’s bothering you the most from this turn of events is that you have no idea what could have scared him off.
It’s the worst not knowing what you could have possibly done to ruin what you thought was a good thing. Now you’re questioning yourself about what you could have done differently to make him feel that pursuing a relationship with you wasn’t the right way to go.
Why is that we always assume we were the ones who did something wrong? Why do women tend to take responsibility for these things? We go over what we did or didn't do, again and again, trying to find out what it was that caused him to become scared of commitment.
But more times than not, we didn’t do anything; perhaps it wasn’t a good fit in the first place or maybe he was trying to spare you pain and decided to get out before you got hurt, not knowing that his act of escape was even more hurtful.
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When dating abruptly ends we often don’t get the closure that we need and it can affect the way we look at future relationships. We become scared to open our hearts and take a chance on somebody. We might not ever understand why that guy who seemed so perfect dumped us via text, but it can be helpful to look at the different reasons that someone could get scared when a relationship started to deepen.
There are those people who only want a light, no-strings-attached relationship but aren’t honest about what they want and can mislead us.
Then there are those who think they want a relationship but when it starts to happen, they get increasingly uncomfortable until they believe that the only thing they can do is end it, just like the animal who gets caught in a trap and must chew their own foot off to escape.
The bottom line is that there are some mysteries regarding human behavior that will never be solved, but astrology can help us in understanding why zodiac signs act the way they do, especially when it comes to having someone whom you’re getting closer to suddenly decide that they don’t want to see you anymore.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
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The minute things started to feel like they were getting serious, he left. Aries men hate feeling as if they're being controlled or have lost some of their freedom. The more you acted like it was a done deal and that he should have been available for whatever you needed, he was working on his exit strategy. Next time, keep it chill until he's too into you to get out and he realizes he has just as much autonomy with you as he does on his own.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
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He desperately wanted to get close to you but felt as if he was the one doing all the work and you were just going through the motions. When a Taurus man commits, he does it with all his heart and after making sure it's safe for him to do so. He didn't get the feeling that you were that into it, so he cut his losses before he got hurt.
If you ever get involved with a Taurus, know that more is better than less and the more you show him you care, especially by being affectionate with him, the more convinced he'll be that you're serious about a relationship with him.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
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Geminis are great people, but they tend to want to play the field a lot before committing to one person, and some of them find it very difficult to be with just one person. He probably liked you just fine but someone else caught his eye and he put all his focus on them.
It's not that you're not great, but nothing is as good for a Gemini as the unknown. If you had played flirty games with him, he may have been interested longer, but he probably wasn't ready for anything serious anyway.
Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
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More than likely, his emotions got the best of him and he had to run. Cancers can be a touch insecure and needy, and he probably found himself getting too attached too quickly, got scared that you didn't feel the same way, and the best thing he could do was to extract himself from the situation.
Cancers can be difficult in this situation because they want you to show them you care, but they freak out if they feel that the amount of caring isn't equal to theirs.
Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
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The Leo man is always on the lookout for something or someone better. You can be a supermodel and they'd still be wondering who else might be interested in them. The problem is that people do adore him and are constantly stroking his ego. It can be difficult for him to remember that he's not perfect and that he shouldn't expect anyone else to be, either.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
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Virgos can get critical of themselves and of the people they get involved with. It comes from a place of insecurity. As you were getting closer, he was starting to doubt that he was worthy of you and he panicked. Don't be surprised if he comes back into your life looking for a second chance.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
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Once the rom-com aspect of your relationship started to fade and the reality set in, Mr. Libra got nervous. He doesn't like conflict nor does he like to deal with deep emotions. There was no notice and no big confrontation — he just faded away. After some time has passed, you may get a friendly text from him or a charming Facebook message, but know that nothing has changed.
Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
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Your Scorpio didn't necessarily run away, he just changed the rules of the game. Unfortunately, you didn't know this and weren't able to compete in his romantic challenge. Scorpios are intense and it can be hard to be under their scrutiny, so you may have actually dodged a bullet.
Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
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The chances are good that he didn't want to get close because he's leaving soon. It doesn't matter where as long as it's someplace new and different. Sagittarius will be more interested in forming lasting relationships when his wanderlust has died down somewhat. He may love to travel but he doesn't love long-distance relationships.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
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Are your finances in order and are you ready to settle down? These may seem like odd questions to ask, but Capricorns aren't interested in dating for dating sake. They want to settle down and have a stable home life, and they don't want to do it with someone whose finances are shaky and/or someone who is only interested in having a good time.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
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When people get close and their relationship starts to deepen, things tend to get emotional. Aquarians aren't comfortable with big displays of emotions and tend to detach themselves when they sense that things are getting serious. Eventually, he'll learn that some emotion is a good thing and that a solid relationship can be infinitely rewarding... he's just not at that place yet.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
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Pisces love being in love, but they don't love when reality doesn't live up to their romantic fantasies. You might not have fit his idealized image of what his true love would be like. It's impossible to successfully compete for someone's love with a fictionalized character.
Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One