I'll Be Fine, As Long As You Stay Single

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Why I Need My Ex To NOT Get A New Girlfriend

Take your time finding someone new. Not forever —​ maybe another six months?

I can't tell you how great things are going for me right now. I mean it. This is the best I've done in years  since before we met, even. I'm finding my stride, I'm getting my groove back, I'm figuring out who I really am. I am a walking cliché of self-love and empowerment and I'm fine with it.

So, hey, if you could do me a huge favor and just stay single for a little longer, that'd be super.


I swear I'm staying out of your life for the most part. I'm not e-stalking you and I'm ignoring your name when it comes up in conversation with mutual friends. I'm doing my very best to forget about you entirely, actually. I don't wish you any ill will or malice. I just need you to not move on just yet.

It's just ... my entire self-worth sort of depends on you staying single, if I'm being honest. I don't know why; I'm not a psychologist. I just know that if I hear that you've met someone you'd rather be with than me right now, my entire sense of self is going to crumble again and I really, really don't have the energy to start rebuilding at this juncture.

It won't make me feel better your new girlfriend is not cute or if she's kind of dumb or if she's just a mindless one-month rebound that you don't have any real feelings for, either. I'm going to be tossed into an endless abyss of contradictory emotion even if you start publicly dating your sister.

In this case, it really isn't you; it's me. I get it. I know that. It's also a bit insane. And pathetic. I'm fully aware of that, thanks.

I know in my head that we weren't a match and that you should be free to do whatever you want with your life in the aftermath of “us.” However, that doesn't stop the way my heart tends to wreak havoc on my reality when it comes to you.

No matter how much meditation and mindfulness I practice when it comes to my thoughts, my emotions do whatever they please and frankly, I don't want to have to deal with more complications when I've finally gotten my feelings in line. I just need a breather, you know?


I enjoy having my sanity back and my emotions to myself. I have so much more energy and free time now! I'm like a new person! If I hear that you're seeing someone else, it's going to cut me off at the knees and dammit, I don't want anything to wreck this momentum I'm just getting going for myself.

I can't tell you what to do. I know. That'd be weird. But maybe take your time finding someone new? Not forever  maybe another six months? That would work for me. I can do the same if you need something in return.

But all bets are off if you get engaged within the year.