Quotes, Heartbreak

9 Hilarious (And OH So True!) Louis C.K. Quotes On Divorce

American comedian Louis C.K. is well known for his hilarious standup and brutally honest jokes on the gritty parts of life — often bringing up hot-button issues such as gay marriage and politics.

The 48-year-old, who also dabbles in acting, editing, directing and producing, often talks about his own, personal experiences with his divorce and co-parenting his two daughters.


Although many of his self-depreciating jokes may seem outlandish, the man speaks from experience and is painfully easy to relate to

So sit back and enjoy some hysterical lessons on divorce from Louis C.K. himself:

If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotesinspirational sayings, and hilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.

On feeling like a failure – when you really, truly shouldn't.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at." — Louis C.K.

On what it takes to keep a family together (or at least functioning).

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"F*** it. That's really the attitude that keeps a family together. It's not 'We love each other!' It's 'F*** it.'" — Louis C.K.

On what it's like to suffer through a marriage that's never going to work.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"Getting divorced is like stepping out of a time machine that traveled you 14 years. But it's a really sh*tty time machine. It's the kind of time machine where it takes the real amount of time to take you to the future. It's basically like if a time machine was a box that you get in and sit in it for two years, then it's two years later." — Louis C.K.

On what to say if your friend gets divorced.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"Some day one of your friends is gonna get divorced. Don't go 'Oh, I'm sorry!' That's a stupid thing to say. No good marriage has ended in divorce. If your friend got divorced, it means things were bad. And now, they're better." — Louis C.K.

On how it really feels after everything is said and done.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I'm not saying don't get married. If you meet someone, fall in love, and get married. Then get divorced! Because that's the best part! Marriage is just like a larvae stage for true happiness, which is divorce. Divorce is forever, it really actually is. Marriage is for how long you can hack it. But divorce just gets stronger, like a piece of oak. No one ever says 'Oh my divorce is falling apart. I just can't take it.'" —Louis C.K.

On moving forward.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"Whenever you leave behind failure, that means you're doing better. If you think everything you've done has been great, then you're probably dumb." — Louis C.K.

On taking on more responsibility as a single parent.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"I made a decision soon after getting divorced that I suddenly was faced with a really simple new problem, which was if I wanted to be with my kids, I had to be alone, you know? I'm alone with my kids now so nobody was home taking care of them. It changes everything." — Louis C.K.

On dating when you're divorced (and older).

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"And you know ... there's not a lot of women my age who are single. If they are single, it's because something happened — or didn't happen — so I started immediately dating women who were younger than me. That's a very strange dynamic. And from their point of view, it's like they're dating a dead person. It's like a corpse. That's how I see myself through their eyes." — Louis C.K.

On what it's REALLY like to see your kids half-time.

Louis C.K. Funny Quotes Divorce

"I'm a great father because I only get my kids for half the week. It's every parent's fantasy. I say goodbye to them on Wednesdays and know that I'll be lying in a pile of my own filth until it's time to see them again." — Louis C.K.