You Shouldn't Need A Hack To Confirm Your Husband's Cheating On You

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ashley madison

You have a gut instinct. Use it.

My husband isn't internet-savvy. I admire that he isn't a slave to his phone or computer, as I am. Breaking news doesn't even reach his radar until three days after.

But somehow, he heard about the Ashley Madison hack attack in real time. (OK, he heard it from me, but I only brought it up because I wanted to see if I saw any hint of panic cross his face. I didn't.)

His first question was "Why would someone hack into a snack cake website?" When I explained that it wasn't Dolly Madison, but Ashley Madison, he seemed to lose interest.

I went on to explain that Ashley Madison was a website designed to help married people cheat on their spouses and that several men have been publicly outed as adulterers.

Which then opened the conversation up to the "what if" game he can never win.

"What if Beyonce tried to kiss you in an elevator?" or, "If you could hook up with one woman, and I would never find out, who would it be?" The times when he's answered the question have always ended badly, so now he just doesn't answer.

But now there's a website that's public where I can go and see if my husband's looking for love in all the wrong places. It's as equal of a temptation to me as Beyonce would be to him in an elevator. (And quite truthfully, just as sinful if I followed through.)

It didn't cross my mind to be suspicious of my husband cheating until the media pointed out the guilt of other seemingly faithful husbands.

I just wanted to take a peek. Then I stopped.

I don't need a website to confirm if my husband is cheating on me because I have a gut  a gut that I trust. And I know he won't be on the list. If I choose to search the list and find my sister's husband, or my best friend's husband, or a neighbor, what will I do then?

If I open that door, I might be confronted with knowledge I never wanted to have in the first place.

Like my husband who refuses to play the "what if " game, I've decided not to play along with the hacker game, because nobody wins. If I find my husband's name, not only does he lose, but we both do because it shows I don't trust him.

The Internet has turned into a place where you don't have to work hard for anything, even an affair. 

If you're tempted to check on your spouse, just don't. If you're truly suspicious of infidelity, the best thing you can do is ask.