8 BRILLIANT Ways To Capitalize On A Terrible Break-Up

Photo: Universal Pictures
Jonah Hill and Jason Segel from Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Having your heart broken isn't ALL bad.

Breakups suck, but sometimes something good can come from them. For example, one girl in Aberdeen won the lottery because of her breakup. After breaking up with her boyfriend, she kept using his lucky numbers. After a few years, she hit the jackpot — literally.

While most of us won’t win the lottery, this is a great example of how good things can come from bad things. Life is mysterious sometimes. Even the most bitter lemons can turn into delicious lemonade.

Since this is an extreme example, we decided to bring things closer to home. For anyone who’s dealing with a breakup, this is a list of things that can be positive about it. Here are 8 ways to capitalize on a bad breakup!

1. You have free Netflix/HBO Go/whatever.

These days, one of the perks of being in a relationship is sharing all of your accounts. When you break up, those passwords don’t just change. If you play your cards right, after a couple of relationships, you could have a full line up of Netflix, HBO Go, Hulu Plus and Amazon Prime — without paying a cent.

2. You get to keep the stuff they left behind.

When people leave, they never take everything with them. If you’re able to detach yourself from all those painful memories, you can enjoy all the new stuff you just got. Maybe it’s just a dirty pair of socks, maybe it’s a laptop! Either way, it’s yours now.

3. You can bring back the stuff that they didn’t like.

A big part of every relationship is changing yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman — your apartment is full of embarrassing stuff. You probably hid a bunch of it away, or at least didn’t have it out like you wanted to. Now you get to put all your stuff back the way you want it to be.

4. You can eat whatever you want.

Part of being an adult is paying attention to your diet, but everyone just wants to eat like a kid again without being judged. Well, a breakup is the perfect excuse to eat without judgment. Go ahead, get that steak and ice cream dinner you’ve been dreaming of. You have feelings to bury.

5. You can act however you want for at least one week.

Also, after a bad breakup, you need some time to learn how to be yourself again. If there’s anything that you’ve wanted to do but are worried people are going to judge you for, this is the time. You just went through a breakup, so if you want to try body painting or something, no one can judge you. Take advantage of it.

6. You get sympathy gifts.

When people feel bad for you, they’ll get you stuff. They’ll pay for dinner, pay for the movies, whatever. After a bad breakup, you get about a month where you won’t have to pay for anything. You’ve got a social life to put back together, this isn’t a time for you to think about paying the bill.

7. You’ll probably get a few of their friends.

There’s nothing better than finding out people like you better than somebody else, especially if they’re choosing you over the person who hurt you. These new friends aren’t just friends, they’re trophies.

8. You can finally stop doing all the things they were making you do.

Guess who doesn’t have to practice yoga anymore? Maybe it wasn’t yoga, but whatever dumb thing they had “introduced” you to. Now you get to just do the stuff that you want to do.