Self

Here's The #1 Risk Of Settling For Less Than You Deserve [VIDEO]

A strong woman knows her potential.

By YourTango Experts and Renee Jain and Jennifer Wilkov and Mary Morrissey and Carolyn R. Owens and Crystal Kulpcavage — Written on Apr 20, 2015

Tell us if we've got it right: as a woman, you have thought long and hard about the life you want to create.  You've set realistic expectations for where you think you should be at different stages of your life, but so far, things are not yet adding up.  You've come close, but not quite reached your goals.  Be it with men, your career, money, children, traveling or whatever event you think will get you to where you "want to be". For many people in this boat, instead of LIVING the life they most want, you're still reaching for the proverbial stars. 

Some of this is, of course, normal.  Depending on your age and life experience, it does take time to reach these milestones.  But that said, there is a balance between having crazy unrealistic goals and hitting the marks that drive your happiness. 

So what does it look like to live a balanced life? One where you push yourself to grow yet don't crucify yourself if you don't hit every goal like a bulls-eye.  There is a balance to this madness. 

To find out what it is, we brought this age-old question to our Experts to get their advice.

Life coach/host Renee Jain, authors Jennifer S. Wilkov and Mary Morrissey, and life coaches Carolyn R. Owens, and Crystal Kulpcavage point out one big issue is settling. Crystal raises an excellent point about the fact that even the most ambitious people settle without even knowing it. Women, she says, "naturally have a tendency to get everything done, to look at the brighter side of life, to make lemonade out of the lemons we're given. And then we look at that and say, 'Wow. I did a lot of work. I did a really, really good job. But the question is how can you stretch yourself?'"

We couldn't agree more! The truth here is that even though you've checked everything off of your self-imposed checklist, there is still a major difference between fulfilling your goals and ignoring your potential.

Women, unfortunately, often settle for less than they deserve in both their personal and professional lives.

Think about this: have you ever dated a guy for years even though he wasn't a perfect fit? Or lived in a town because it was "easy" or filled with people you know?  Or stayed at a job because it was comfortable and didn't require taking a risk of seeing what you could get in a better job?

Although these situations, although they seem different, they are all ruled by one thing: FEAR.

The University of Toronto talks about how people act out of fear in relationship saying that, "sometimes they [people] stay in relationships they aren't happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren't very good for them. Now we understand that people's anxieties about being single seem to play a key role in these types of unhealthy relationship behaviors."

But in truth, the biggest challenge for many people is simply deciding on something (potentially ANYTHING).  In lay therapy-speak, we're talking about analysis-paralysis or the inability to decide on anything out of fear of making the wrong choice.  If this describes your way of making choices, INC has the definitive guide to how people make bad choice.  You can read it on their site; it's a great supplement to the video.

Bottom line is if you give in to it, fear can drive everything you do. The end result is a life filled with missed opportunities and full of "what ifs". That's why you must take back control TODAY. Keep pushing yourself or you'll never reach that finish line.

Life comes at you fast. We suggest you find a good seat belt, a few healthy good friends and re-watch this video and visit the Expert's by clicking their names above.  If you like what you see here, follow us on Facebook for more.